Happy Birthday to the one and only Killustrator!

Killy came on the scene last year, as a much needed addition to the Steamers! She was just want the Steamers needed, a powerful jammer who can play all positions on the track very well. From last years rookie to this years Captain; Killy has been helping power the SS Steamy through some amazing times, from a team two years prior last place, to last years second place (were number two), and with one of the most impressive comebacks in BRRG history with bout two’s performance over the Pinups. From blue Unitards to Gold Promitards, there is no saying what is next up Killy’s sleeves. From the speed of a cheetah, and the heart of a champion, The Turn Two Boys cant help but love the Killustrator. May your day be filled with joy and laughter!

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Derby Name: The Killustrator

Number: 16

Team(s): Cleveland Steamers, Burning River All-Stars

Position(s): jammer, tail blocker

How would you compare Lehigh to BRRG?
I dunno, that’s kind of like comparing your first love and the person you wind up spending the rest of your life with.* With your first love you have sweet memories of the heady rush of infatuation, the excitement and the fights and the reconciliations, and the ultimate tearful emotional parting.  After a while time forms its capsule around those memories and you accept that it was a wonderful period in your life but one that is closed.
With love later in life, you’ve been around the block a few times and you know better what to expect.  Both you and your partner have established identities, boundaries and expectations.  The bond is steadier, less easily buffeted by winds of passion, and based on mutual respect.  Hardship does not shake the foundations of the relationship, but rather it provides an opportunity to strengthen the bond through overcoming adversity together.
*Really, honestly, how often are they the same person?

What has been your greatest accomplishment in derby?
Skating with the Hostile City Honeys (Philly Roller Girls), including their final bout as a team, was an honor.  Those ladies are my first roller derby heroes.  Travelling with the Lehigh Valley Roller Girls in June 2007 to play the New Skids on the Block in Montreal in the first international bout of the roller derby revival* was another great moment.  Montreal has really gotten around since then (honestly, it’s hard to miss them), but I can say I got to play them first and on their home turf!  Chronologically latest but not least was going to North Central Regional Tournament with the Burning River All-Stars.  It was the first time I got to see the culmination of a year’s teamwork pay off in such a grand way, and I feel privileged to have been a part of it.
*Feel free to fact-check me.  I ain’t skeered.

What team do you enjoy playing the most?
Out of our home teams, I have to say the Rolling Pinups.  They’re all a bunch of super sweet gals, they play a hard game and have a great attitude before, during and after a bout.

How did the gold Killustrator outfit come about?
The Promitard is a joke that has gotten way, way out of hand.  So I found this spandex unitard at a Salvation Army thrift store one day for a buck-fifty, and I buy it and wear it to an informal scrimmage.  It got enough laughs for me to think that I should try sewing one myself.  The gold one was made before, but debuted after the blue and navy unitard I wore at the Hazard Cup 2009.  The BRRG awards banquet rolled around and I was scratching up something to wear, and I thought to myself that I haven’t worn the gold one in public yet.  I slap some ridiculous organza and silk roses one-shoulder pouf on it to make it sufficiently “prommy”, and Bob’s your uncle, the Promitard was born.  Apparently unitards are my shtick now, which just goes to show that you shouldn’t encourage me.

What do you do when you are not playing derby?
I send emails about roller derby.  I also play World of Warcraft, work at my day job as a medical artist, love/antagonize my fiancé Josh a.k.a. Ogre, and find the occasional free moment to sew something.  Right now it’s mostly the former.

How did you come about your name?
I can’t take any credit.  My friend Paul Snyder came up with that one, as well as the runner-up name “The Lenexacutioner”.  (My hometown is Lenexa, Kansas.)

What has been your fondest derby memory so far?
The very first day I came to see a roller derby practice, one of the refs told me something useful: “Derby is like the military – you don’t have to like each other, you just have to work together.”

What first got you into roller derby?
I had no friends!  I moved to Bethlehem, Pennsylvania, for a job in October 2006 with just my dog, Jeff, and my worldly possessions.  Jeff’s a great guy but I was in need of human companionship, so I tried to put myself out there and mingle a bit.  As luck would have it, the first gal I met was a rollergirl.  I attended one practice and there was no turning back.  I had all the friends and family I could want.

Who are you inspired by?
I don’t really have heroes of the put-on-a-pedestal sort.  The people around me who I know and work with every day influence me to improve myself.  I mean, how many times do I have to get hit by Halo’s ass before I try to figure out how to avoid it?  When I see my teammates’ commitment to the sport, I’m inspired to match their dedication with my own.  To give any less would be a disservice to their efforts.

Finish the phrase: Killustrator is to the Steamers as _________ is to __________?
Killustrator : Cleveland Steamers :: peanut butter : chocolate.  Two great tastes that taste great together.

What has derby done for you as an individual?
What hasn’t derby done for me?  I’m in better physical shape than before I started playing.  I’ve learned how to work with a team, since I’d never played sports before.  It’s gotten me over a certain degree of stage fright; you can’t be scared to get out on that jam line in front of the crowd, let alone do it in a spandex unitard.  It’s familiarized me with my alcohol tolerance better than college or the years following did.  It’s made me more confident and sure of who I am as a person, and introduced me to an incredible number of amazing women who are all so very different but all equally awesome.

What has been your favorite travel team bout so far?
I hate to disappoint the BRRG fans, but it’s hard to top playing in Montreal: announcers trash-talking in French, PBR-can pyramids on turn 2, and a hockey crowd that booed you while you skated and cheered you at the after-party.  It was kind of like being a heel in professional wrestling.  The recent game in Naptown was a bit like that too, except fans in Indiana have no sense of humor.  I kind of love being booed anyway, it gives me an excuse to be a jackass.  A 9-year-old girl at the Naptown game told me I sucked afterwards.  How precious is that?

What are your 2010 goals?
To survive my fourth season playing roller derby.

What can the fans expect from 2010 Steamers compared to 2009 Steamers?
Spandex uniforms!  I kid, I kid.  But srsly, we have a lot of great things going for us.  We have a solid core of returning veterans who are motivated to continue the momentum we built up last year.  We have five amazing rookies added to the team: B. Onya Guard, Cupquake, GrrAnimal, Mosh Spice and Skinner.  Our rookies have great attitudes and an enthusiasm that’s really inspiring the rest of the team.  What can the fans expect from the Steamers this year?  More of the same: we’re still a well-rounded team that works hard and has fun and is ready to kick ass on the flat track!

What do you feel will help propel roller derby further?
Three things: a musical, inclusion in the Olympics, and roller derby in high school girls’ sports.

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The trip out to Fort Wayne was not an easy one; cars were off the road in ditches, semi’s jack-knifed, and every weather station telling us not to travel. But, in the harshest of environments, members of the BRRG braved the elements and traveled to Fort Wayne Indiana.

First up the Xanadont’s with secret new weapons known as The Killustrator and Chrissie B. Hynde; came out with a strong effort but finished just shy of a win. Punk’d Pixie, Margarita Mayhem, and Vix Smackey showed an intense preview of what the ’09 season is going to look like (look out everyone, Pin-ups are contenders for the Cup). The Xanadont’s played well, but allowed fundamental mistakes to occur, fouls to hurt them, and fatigue to play a factor. It came to the last jam, but with a large crowd pumping the S.W.A.T. Team, the Xanadont’s were unable to come out on top.

I learned a lot sitting between Magic Lee Malicious and Quarter boy (GRRG) about personal styles and where working as a team is needed. I also learned a lot about inexperienced referees, and bad calls. I thank you both for your knowledge and friendship.

Now onto the All-Star Rematch; Burning River steps onto Fort Wayne turf missing a few key elements. One- The Validator: a major factor who scored many points in our first encounter with the Bomb Squad. Two- Slaughterama Mama: an incredible blocker who seems to gain energy when most others begin to feel fatigue. And three- Pain Austen: who yes did not play but has an expertise in observation when play a dirty team like the bomb squad. And yes I said Dirty! I know accidents happen and mistakes get made, refs do not see everything, but something’s you just cannot turn a blind eye to. I also understand that there will always be biased referees, and dirty skaters; and that will never change.

It was a treat to see you girls playing like a team out there! I did not see what I have seen in previous bouts; huge talent with no communication, every girl out there trying to get hers. A saw a major group effort and every girl knowing her role on the track. We had a rough start, with our first three jams, only scoring two points. But we started playing with good strategy and started nickel and dime jams. Then in a reverse of roles we started putting up major points and shutting down there jammer. By the end of the second half it was a one point game.

Unfortunately, it was becoming extremely apparent the referees from Fort Wayne had total disregard for WFTDA rules, especially when it came to fouls committed by their own players. I could go off on an hour tangent, about dozens of instances where I saw blatant fouls (by the bomb squad) with no call, or no foul or legal move being called as fouls (by BRRG). I believe this hurt the team in a way where we lost focus of the game; having to spend time and energy showing referees the fouls, and paying back the one who fouled, this is where there Jammer was able to break through the pack quick and leave our jammer fighting to get through. But in reality this is a situation we knew we were getting into, before we walked in the arena. Even speaking with members of GRRG I heard of dirty players in the bomb squad. We needed to be able to beat this team despite these hindrances. But when I look back at this bout, the team work that I saw out of the All-Stars, the moments where we every player on the track was just playing the game with such skill, technique and grace; for that I account the victory despite the score. This bout was a heck of a learning experience for me and I am sure many times over for the skaters.

Big ups go out to Slambassador for winning best blocker during the first bout; and Halochic during the All-Star bout. I must say special thank you to both Ivanna Destroya and Professor Booty for being concerned with my well being on my trip back (I made it safe!). Mad props to Gonnolea, just cuz she freakin rules! And last but not least Magic Lee Malicious for all her wonderful company and conversation there and back!

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