Derby Name:  CoCo Sparx

Number:  4

Team(s):  Hellbombers & the All-Stars

Position(s):  For the Hellbombers, primarily jammer & pivot.  For the All-Stars, I’ve done everything; started with the team being told that I wasn’t a good enough jammer and I was going to be blocking only.  After jamming as a pinch jammer a couple times, they moved me to jamming only.  Now I’m in limbo again as they’ve added some ace jammers to the All-Stars roster and my blocking has improved.  So… I guess that means I play all positions.

How did you learn of roller derby?  I got a MySpace message saying “Hi, we’re looking to start a women’s roller derby league in Cleveland.  We’re looking for girls who are 21+ and have health insurance.”  I didn’t really know what roller derby was, but I knew it involved roller skating, which I was decent at, and I’d already been looking to find a sports team to play on but hadn’t found the right one.  I figured I’d check it out.

What made you decide you wanted to play roller derby?   My parents were dead set against it.  Haha, but seriously, when I told my dad that I was joining a roller derby league, he sighed loudly and said, “Lindsay, we raised you better than that.”  True quote, he’ll deny it now, but he said it.  I kept going to practices out of stubbornness.  After a couple of months it dawned on me that I was   ACTUALLY playing roller derby, and that I LIKED it.  By then everyone was a lot more supportive.

If you had to choose between Jammer or Blocker which would you choose and why?  That’s actually a hard question, since I like different things about each position.  I’m going to say I would choose to be a pivot.  That way a I block & can jam if my jammer passes me the star.  Best of both worlds.

You seem to turn your rookies into fierce assassins, how do you do this?  I could tell you, but then I’d have to kill you.  But seriously, we’ve always tried to pick girls that we thought not only skated well, but that we knew would work well with our team; the ones who show they want to work as a unit, not as an individual.

What do you hope to accomplish in the realm of roller derby?  Whatever I can.  I’d love to see our All-Star team go to regionals this year (which is a very definite possibility), and even nationals someday.  A few people have asked me how long I plan on doing this.  Even at 26 & 1/2 years old, I’m still one of the younger girls on our league.  I look at some of the really amazing skaters across the country, and they might be 10 years older than me.  I’ve got a long time yet before I’m thinking of retiring.

You recently froze on the Jam line (Fort Wayne), care to enlighten people what happened there :)?  Hey, thanks for bringing that up.  But here’s what happened.  As I was skating up to the jam line, it dawned on me that I had a little bit of a wedgie.  So, instead of squatting down into may take-off stance & flashing a fish-belly white butt cheek at the crowd, I quickly yanked it out.  So as I’m waiting for the whistle to go, I hear this really girly-sounding voice yell, “Hyuk, quit pickin’ yer wedgie!”  And all I could think was, “OMG! They’re talking about my butt!”  Next thing I knew, they other jammer took off and I was left standing on the line looking like a moron.  If I ever find out who that girly-sounding hillbilly was, I swear….

What skates are you currently using?  Reidell 965 Minx boots, Powerdyne Triton plates, and a combo of Radar Zodiac (red) & Radar Mojo (black) wheels.

What has been your greatest achievement in Derby so far?  I think getting nominated for Triple Threat last year, even though I didn’t win.  I knew I was a pretty good jammer, but at the time, I’d always thought of myself as a big wimp in the pack.  I guess I was just a big eye-opener to find out that I was not a big wimp.

What were your feelings, when you saw yourself on the sk8intheface header?  I had no idea that my mouthguard made me look like I had hillbilly teeth.  It’s a great header though, nicely done.

What do you love most about roller derby?  Your mom.  No, that’s wrong.  I like the camaraderie, I like the competition, I like the fishnets, I like the travel, I like the feeling of getting your ass handed to you with a hard hit but knowing that I can get up and keep going, I like the strategy, I like the fans, I like hearing my name over a loudspeaker (or up in lights, like in Cincinnati!), I like the after-parties, I like the look on people’s faces when I tell them I play roller derby… I could go on & on.

You are engaged to the ref “Oliver Pist”, how has that changed the game for you?  I definitely see the game from the refs point of view now.  I try not to argue about small calls that were or were not missed, because really, refs are *gasp* human and can’t see every little thing.  If it doesn’t get called, I don’t take my mind out of the game anymore; just keep going because getting pissed about it only ruins my focus on the game.

What was the inspiration behind your name?  There really wasn’t much of one.  The original name I wanted was registered already and I couldn’t think of anything else.  I just liked the way the words sounded.  No irony, no cleverness, no little pop-culture reference, just liked the sound.

Which do you like better, cats or dogs?  I think I’m more of a cat person.  Pist & I just got a puppy in January, and she’s making me warm up to dogs.  But as it stands right now, I like MY dog and my friends’ dogs, but I love ALL cats.  I’ve never seen a cat I didn’t want to pick up and squeeze and cuddle and talk to in a ridiculously high-pitched voice.

Last year you won best booty (then showed us all why), any pressure in keeping that award in 2009?  I won Best Booty in 2007 too, so I had plenty of pressure last year.  The competition was tough, and I was sure that Hannah Bull was going to take home the giant trophy.  It really was a shock when they called my name.  I felt like Christina Aguilera when she won the Grammy for Best New Artist.  So shocked that yes, I felt the need to flash the goods.  For 2009, I’m seeing some stiff competition again.  We’ve got girls like Primp, Slammy, Syren, Booty… winning again isn’t going to be easy.  I may have to campaign this year by not wearing pants at all.

What do you think is necessary to propel the sport of roller derby further?   Everyone has to be on the same page, and right now, a lot of cities are not on the same page with their aims for roller derby.  Everyone has a different idea of what roller derby SHOULD be, and until everyone shares one vision, I think it’s going to be very difficult to get roller derby on the mainstream radar.  However, organizations like WFTDA (Women’s Flat Track Derby Association) are working very hard to streamline that vision and get everyone on the same page.  Many WFTDA leagues are getting a lot of mainstream recognition and are promoting a very good and positive image of roller derby to the mainstream audience.

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The trip out to Fort Wayne was not an easy one; cars were off the road in ditches, semi’s jack-knifed, and every weather station telling us not to travel. But, in the harshest of environments, members of the BRRG braved the elements and traveled to Fort Wayne Indiana.

First up the Xanadont’s with secret new weapons known as The Killustrator and Chrissie B. Hynde; came out with a strong effort but finished just shy of a win. Punk’d Pixie, Margarita Mayhem, and Vix Smackey showed an intense preview of what the ‘09 season is going to look like (look out everyone, Pin-ups are contenders for the Cup). The Xanadont’s played well, but allowed fundamental mistakes to occur, fouls to hurt them, and fatigue to play a factor. It came to the last jam, but with a large crowd pumping the S.W.A.T. Team, the Xanadont’s were unable to come out on top.

I learned a lot sitting between Magic Lee Malicious and Quarter boy (GRRG) about personal styles and where working as a team is needed. I also learned a lot about inexperienced referees, and bad calls. I thank you both for your knowledge and friendship.

Now onto the All-Star Rematch; Burning River steps onto Fort Wayne turf missing a few key elements. One- The Validator: a major factor who scored many points in our first encounter with the Bomb Squad. Two- Slaughterama Mama: an incredible blocker who seems to gain energy when most others begin to feel fatigue. And three- Pain Austen: who yes did not play but has an expertise in observation when play a dirty team like the bomb squad. And yes I said Dirty! I know accidents happen and mistakes get made, refs do not see everything, but something’s you just cannot turn a blind eye to. I also understand that there will always be biased referees, and dirty skaters; and that will never change.

It was a treat to see you girls playing like a team out there! I did not see what I have seen in previous bouts; huge talent with no communication, every girl out there trying to get hers. A saw a major group effort and every girl knowing her role on the track. We had a rough start, with our first three jams, only scoring two points. But we started playing with good strategy and started nickel and dime jams. Then in a reverse of roles we started putting up major points and shutting down there jammer. By the end of the second half it was a one point game.

Unfortunately, it was becoming extremely apparent the referees from Fort Wayne had total disregard for WFTDA rules, especially when it came to fouls committed by their own players. I could go off on an hour tangent, about dozens of instances where I saw blatant fouls (by the bomb squad) with no call, or no foul or legal move being called as fouls (by BRRG). I believe this hurt the team in a way where we lost focus of the game; having to spend time and energy showing referees the fouls, and paying back the one who fouled, this is where there Jammer was able to break through the pack quick and leave our jammer fighting to get through. But in reality this is a situation we knew we were getting into, before we walked in the arena. Even speaking with members of GRRG I heard of dirty players in the bomb squad. We needed to be able to beat this team despite these hindrances. But when I look back at this bout, the team work that I saw out of the All-Stars, the moments where we every player on the track was just playing the game with such skill, technique and grace; for that I account the victory despite the score. This bout was a heck of a learning experience for me and I am sure many times over for the skaters.

Big ups go out to Slambassador for winning best blocker during the first bout; and Halochic during the All-Star bout. I must say special thank you to both Ivanna Destroya and Professor Booty for being concerned with my well being on my trip back (I made it safe!). Mad props to Gonnolea, just cuz she freakin rules! And last but not least Magic Lee Malicious for all her wonderful company and conversation there and back!

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