Derby Name: Hi 5 Number: 5 Team(s):
Cleveland Steamers, All-Stars Position(s):
I’m happy to serve wherever duty calls. What brought you to the world of derby?
I’ve been doing roller derby as long as I have lived in Cleveland. I moved up from Athens, Ohio to Cleveland in 2007 for a job and heard about BRRG just before they were to hold their first fresh meat August. It was great timing and I’ve enjoyed skating so much with everyone. How do you feel you about your progress you’ve made since your start?
I feel like a completely different skater since I was that girl in the red tank top skating for the Steamers in Season Two. I skate differently, think and understand the game differently, and I think I have more strengths as a skater. I loved Slambassador, why did you change your name?
I think it goes along with feeling like a different skater. Plus, it was a very long name that didn’t fit well on the back of a jersey. I will most likely change my name next year too. Let me know if you have any suggestions. How did you trick Algebro into being a referee?
No tricks needed, he joined to share in this crazy derby thing but was surprised in how intellectually challenging and physically demanding it is to be a roller derby referee. It has been fun for him. What skates are you currently using?
I skate in Riedells 395s. What are your Season 5 personal goals?
Personal goals are to become a powerful hitter, get lighter on my skates, and learn how to use opposing blockers as “helpers” when trying to stop the opposing jammer. I would really like to play every position well eventually. All of those things plus I would love to be able to do hurricane kicks and the circle waltz on roller skates. I noticed you have been doing a couple races lately, how has that been going?
It’s going well, I’m hoping to run a marathon in late September which is something that I’ve wanted to do for a while.
What are your hopes for the future of BRRG? I would like for BRRG to continue to become more competitive at a national level.
What are your thoughts/feelings about Steamers from when you started, to current day?
The Steamers have always been a cohesive, fun team with an overwhelming number of secret nerds. The fun has always carried through but I’ve noticed our team really likes to talk about strategy and rules more now than ever. The nerd-ism has crossed over to derby.
What books have you been recently enjoying?
A few books that I’ve read that stand out recently are “No one belongs here more than you” which is a collection of short stories by Miranda July. I’ve also been reading “Marathon : the ultimate guide” by Hal Higdon. I am also revisiting some Flannery O’Connor.
Do you have any pre-bout antics to get you prepared?
I don’t have any antics per se but I do spend some quiet time alone and visualize what I want to do on the track.
How has roller derby affected your life?
I have turned into a jock for the first time ever, I’m not sure exactly when and how it happened, though I think Primp Daddy may have had something to do with it.I am more active than I have ever been in my life and maybe a little more dull headed. I also know so many inspiring women now and came to meet them almost instantly when joining the league.
How are you feeling about being on the travel team?
I like All-Stars, I enjoy the competitive camaraderie and playing with girls across the league that I don’t normally get a chance to join up with as teammates.
What do you do when you are not playing derby?
I like to run, lift, read, spend time with friends, take classes at CSU, and generally just enjoy living here in beautiful Cleveland.
In your opinion, how roller derby can achieve more recognition as a sport?
I think as more derby leagues are established and more people personally know someone playing the sport of roller derby, more people will come to know it as a sport. WFTDA and sports journalism play a huge role in getting it recognized as a sport. It would be great to see the WFTDA National Championships broadcast on television so that people could see the highest levels of athleticism of the sport of roller derby.
What a beautiful start to my day. I walk into my box to start my workout, and a girl walks up to me and says “Do you only own roller derby t-shirts”? To which I reply, “no I have a couple other shirts”. It is nice to know that when you are trying to put up the top score on the board, people are taking note to derby shirts I often wear at my box. Plan for tonight: Partying with Pinups!
Really I am still in awe of what took place the other night. Let this night live in infamy, July 10th 2010 – the end of the Hellbombers undefeated reign of terror. The whole night was impressive; anyone who was a derby fan and had to miss this bout, I feel very sorry for.
First bout Hard Knockers vs. Cleveland Steamers
The Knockers needed this bout in so many ways; going into this bout without a win, struggling to get back in sync, and needing to let out some pent up aggression. But the Steamers are no team to be walked on, they have been on fire this season. As I predicted would be the case, bodies were flying everywhere! WC looked at me when Cupquake came flying into us, and said “its about time someone slid into us”. I really miss the 8 foot borders! One thing that was killing the Steamers was the amount of penalties, especially jammer penalties. But all in all, I am not sure how different the lineups were for the knockers, but you better keep it for next season. Knockers had pack control most of the night, setting up key blocks, trapping a steamer in the back and forcing twenty foots. And then there was Mommy’s Little Monster – holy shit!! Monster was unstoppable out on the track, over fifty points scored for her team, unbelievable! This bout was so exciting from start to finish, finals had brought out the best in the Knockers, and the Steamers just could not answer. Two in the pink, none in the stink, Ian and his pink snuggie, helped fuel the Knockers to a very powerful win over the always tough Steamers.
The main event Rolling Pinups vs. Hellbombers
I have never seen so much green in the stands, even Destroya’s brother and Killy’s man Josh were wearing green, (everyone loves the Pinups) it was incredible! When the first jam finished, I was like oh yeah this is going to be a war; when the second jam finished I said oh no this is going to get ugly. And this is how how the first half went, classic Bombers style; small jams 4-5 point nickle and dime, and just keep widening the gap. Pinups were struggling to get their pack in sync, Bombers were having an easy time making lead jam. Towards the end of the first half, Pinups were able to out a couple points on the board to try and keep the damage minimal. Often Pinups jammers were forced to call jams without scoring knowing a bomber was right behind them. As the first half came to a close the Bombers were ahead by double 48 – 24.
With the start of the second half the Pinups got themselves back on track, and were slowing starting to stifle the Bombers offense. Back and forth couple point jams, giving the Pinups the confidence needed to get back in the game, Steve (playing the father role to my child) WC, and myself all said the same thing: “you know two big jams, and they are right back in this thing” and then, just like that, huge back to back jams by Boots and then by Pixie, and the Pinups are in the lead! The sound of the crowd was over bearing, it sounded like ten thousand people were in the stands screaming. I jumped up in amazement, the place was out of control! The last two jams are so crucial when the point spread is so close, any team that loses their cool can be completely rolled on. Pixie takes the lead, gets a couple , calls off the jam with time on the clock for one more jam. Boots vs CoCo, the pack is filled with vets, it is on! Boots starts roadblocking CoCo to wear down the clock, 40 seconds left on the clock CoCo is sent to the box, this could really happen! The fear of booty going to the box, greatly overwhelmed my body, jammerless jam could have been devastating. Booty takes lead, calls off the jam, Pinups have managed to do the Unthinkable! PINUPS are the 2010 Hazard Cup Champions!!!
There are so many moments in these bouts that I could write forever! I personally want to thank every skater, bench manager, referee, announcer, medic, and volunteer who made this season so memorable, so enjoyable, and for providing the most entertaining sport that Cleveland has to offer! Thank you!!
This is it, the Finals, the Hazard Cup, everything you have done leads up to this day. Have you done enough, what about the person next you, how about your team as a whole? Do you feel confident when you step out on that track, that you and your teammates have put everything on the line for this victory? Have you watched the tapes of your previous bout against your opponents? If you were a gambler, would you bet on your own team? Hopefully you have answered yes to all these questions!
The Pinups and the Hellbombers square off for the Hazard Cup on Saturday, this is familiar territory for the Bombers, as for the Pinups this is un-chartered waters. The last time these two teams collided, it was probably one of the best, strategical, cut throat, exciting games to watch all season, and I expect the rematch to be even better!
I had the pleasure of corresponding with an expert in the field about the up and coming bout, I would love to share with you all.
From Pain Austen
I remember in season 1 when the Knockers and Bombers had some really close bouts that the Knockers came out on top of. So for the first Hazard Cup, there was a lot of support for the Bombers as underdogs (weird, right?). It was crazy. There was so much cosmic ‘win’ energy focused on the Bombers. Do you think they are still floating on that karma? They still have a good portion of that line up that won the championship that first year. The 1st season was also the season of the PinUps polka-dotted dress uniforms. Now that they don’t have to worry about their boobs falling out of their halter tops, the PinUps are a force to be reckoned with. From the looks of things, the PinUps are a really strong team this year. Their only two loses were incredibly close, one in overtime, just like the Bombers in season 1. Are they the chosen ones to break the Bombers streak?
Personally, I do not want to spout off at who needs to do what, or what I feel is the key to your victory. If you have asked me personally (like many of you have, not including the drunken 3am ranting in my back yard last Saturday) I have shared what I feel are the key elements to winning this bout. I will not be posting that today. Today, all I am going to say is good luck, and I wish you the best. WC and I have decided that we will be wearing our white Sk8intheFace polo shirts to not show any favoritism. We have come to know and love so many of you girls it is very hard to root for only one team. We are just happy to be there, and enjoy the bouts.
Steamers and Knockers will be skating first fighting for the third place spot, I expect this game to be very fast paced, and bodies flying everywhere! Best of luck to both teams, be safe and have fun!
Half-Time show will be the Jr. Fire-starters, I am really excited to see them, they always seem to have their bouts during my class times, so this will be the first bout I will get to see them play, expect me to yell just as loud as I always do!
Pinups and Bombers battling it out for the Hazard Cup. I cannot be more anxious for this bout. I have been playing this bout in my mind over and over, I cannot wait to see the action take place! Best of luck to everyone, leave it all on the track!
Team(s): The Rolling Pin Ups/ The Burning River All-Stars
Position(s): Jammer/ Blocker
What was the inspiration behind your name? I love punk rock music and pixie just seemed to fit me and then the two sounded great together
How did you first hear of the league? I was at the Leroy Thompson motorcycle show on the east side of Cleveland and BRRG was there doing full contact musical chairs! I watched them go after each other and I knew I had to do this!! So I went to a bout in N. Olmstead to see what it was really all about and I was in love
Who is your derby Wife, and how is your relationship with her? I am single(in the derby wife arena)!! I like playing the field…hahaha
What happened to the Pixie Sticks?? I know i should bring those back. Everyone loves pixie sticks!!
Your jamming has stepped up vastly, what do you credit this to? I gained a lot of experience last year. With so few Pin ups skating in season 3, Eva and I were jamming almost every other jam last season. .
Who do you miss most that has left the league? That’s a tough question…. everyone
How do you feel about growth of derby since your start? It’s amazing!!! I am so proud to be part of it all.
Tell us about our time as a part of The Hazmat Crew? I was part of the original committee to propose a “B” travel team and then was elected Captain. It was a struggle starting a new team and we went through some growing pains but I loved skating with those girls! It was challenging but a ton of fun
What has been your most embarrassing derby moment of all time? ummm….
How difficult is it for you to juggle derby and everything else? It’s very challenging. I have a full time job, a part time job, a 17 year old daughter, a boyfriend, the pin ups, and the All-stars…..it’s a constant juggling act but I honestly wouldn’t want my life any other way.
You in life are you inspired by? When things get rough and I feel like giving up I think of my daughter Rachel and how I want to teach her important life lessons, such as, you should never quit. Then I pick myself up and get going again.
What are your Season 4 goals? I want to score some points!! ha ha ha ha And I wanted to not only play hard but learn how to play smarter.
Tell us about your journey to All-Star status? It’s been a long road but very worth it. I’ve been working really hard not only skating but outside of practice work outs as well.
What do you enjoy doing when you are not skating? With such a busy life I usually enjoy chillin out at home with a glass of wine, reading or watching movies with my boyfriend David and my cats. When we do manage a free night we love going to see local bands and are huge fans of rockabilly.
Alright Burning River at it again, this time up in PA battling it out against Steel City Steel Hurtin’. Steel City has been on a warpath and I am hoping that they are glossing over us.
After our rough time at Brewhaha, we may look like just another team to step on, however we know how step it up when big challengers, bring big heat! Steel City who had they’re biggest match against Detroit and loss by only 45 points.
It should also be noted that this is the bout that sports blogger Jody Diperna will be attending. For those of you who have not had the pleasure of reading one of the most ignorant hit pieces trying to discredit roller derby, Her article can be found here.
It has taken her 6 months to watch a bout, so lets make it a bout that she never forgets!
All I am going to say for this bout is put everything you got out on that track, give all you got each time your on the track. I wish you all the best in this bout. I will be watching this bout on DNN, and most likely screaming my freaking head off! This is a tough team, but you guys are some of the toughest female athletes, I have ever had the pleasure of calling my friends.
I love you all, stay safe, kick some ass out there!
Saturday night was a fantastic night, and derby was in high gear! From the minute I walked in with a Pinups shirt on, I knew all hell would break loose! I got an email asking me if I would rock a green shirt, no other emails came in asking if I would wear any other type of shirt, so I went with the green. By wearing that shirt, I received a lot of mushed up faces, and a lot of hugs! I must say Aaron Bonk is freaking nuts, that was a crazy performance with those knives! I did not get the chance to see him last year (the only bout I have missed), so it was a pleasure to get to see a good friend do something he loves, in front of so many!
Pinups vs Steamers
Holy technical, low scoring, clock killing game! At the start, the Steamers came out strong, racking up 10 un-answered points. However the Pinups were able to chisel into that lead with 3 un-answered jams of their own. Killy and Cupquake took lead jammer often and help keep the game close. However, the Pinups had some major jams in the first half by Boots, Pixie, Soulie, and Take-Out. By the time the game went into half time, awkwardly with a jam starting but not finishing? The score was 28 – 19 with the Pinups holding a 9 point lead over the Steamers. Personally I feel X-Rated had one of her best games on the track, she hit hard, she hit often, she surely brought her A game for this bout. The Steamers look to be taking heavy shots at Take-Out every time she was on the track however, she responded back by putting some monstrous jams, and racking some major points for the Pinups. As the second half took shape, the Pinups kept their momentum as they widened the gap on the Steamers. Seeing all the various Pinups playing well in multiple positions extremely well, just goes to show how multi-faceted this team truly is. As the lead grew sizable, they quickly went into time killing mode, while may not be the most exciting to watch, was the smartest game-play on the track. Numerous clock draining jams, great jammer stall blocking, made it difficult for the Steamers to get the game moving again. In the end the Pinups are heading to the Hazard Cup with a great strategical performance over the Steamers 57-35.
Bombers vs Knockers
This bout started out with bodies flopping everywhere, we need a live DJ for time like this so they can play “let the bodies hit the floor” that would have been bad ass. None the less, it was insane to see how many pileups were taking place and some heavy hits being landed out there. The Hellbombers brought their A game 100 percent and the Knockers just could not get things to work in their favor. As the Bombers jammed all their powerhouse jammers, it feels like the Knockers are still trying to figure out who will be their jammer to help get things back on track. This bout they brought out Molitov Hot-Tail who is a seasoned veteran, and a hell of a skater, who skated well, but the Bombers defense was just too much to break through. Ida Bitter and Stroker Ace were just on fire that night, but really I would like to point out that all that priming that the Bombers have forced onto Eduskater, has really paid off, though she may not feel like it, she played very well. She had some tough jams where she had to really work hard to get lead, and has really came a long way in a short time. The Bombers decided that this bout they would turn up the heat and just score point after point, it was astonishing to watch! But the night truly belongs to one person, the Burrito Sheriff herself, Morbie!! I finally got my wish and more than could have ever bargained for, Morbid vs Milf on the jam line, Milf takes lead and falls right after, Milf does not know she is lead, and gets sent to the box, Morbid is stuck in to jam the full two minutes. Morbid Cherub scores 9 points, history is made! See it for yourself!
All in all it was a tough night for the Knockers, I surely hope they can start getting back to being the team everyone knows they can be. Huge night for the Hellbombers who may have used this bout to show the Pinups just how powerful they are, well played ladies, well played.
I have joy and sadness thinking about this bout; joy for derby greatness, athletes putting everything on the line for the hazard cup, sadness for the fact that the season is coming to an end. I love this sport with every fiber in my being, I get so excited on derby day, I can only imagine how anxious you all would get as well. This bout has the makings to be some of best derby that BRRG can provide. With the Steamers and Pinups in prime positions to take on the Bombers for the Hazard cup, expect this one to be the bout to show case the best in these two teams on the track. When the Knockers and the Bombers collide, fireworks are soon to follow. The Bombers bring the best out of the Knockers, and on the opposite foot the Knockers always seem to make the Bombers timid on the track. To top that off you bring out the wild and hysterical mastermind of juggling Aaron “El Bonko” Bonk! I am freaking pumped!
Steamers vs Pinups
This is monumental, two teams in prime position to battle the Bombers for the Hazard Cup, last time they faced off the Pinups had the rug pulled out from under them by the Steamers. Will history repeat itself? The Steamers have manage to snag Buddhalicious however, the Pinups have obtained the former Cleveland Steamer Take-Out! Man things just made this bout epic! Also, the Pinups will have Eva Lucien on the track, this is a huge boost to the Pinups lineup! The Pinups received some harsh criticism from me before last bout, and showed me exactly how they planned to deal with it. They came out the gate swinging, and never let their guard down! They may not have won that bout, but no one in the past two seasons have came that close to beating the Hellbombers. The Pinups have the best two tail blockers in the league Boots and Soulie, I feel bad for anyone jamming against them when they are tail. Also, to be noted, Vix Smackey has become a regular at the CrossFit Box I attend, she is becoming tough as nails! The Steamers on the other hand, can go from ice cold to extremely hot in seconds, when they get wind in their sails it is hard to slow them down. Killy, and Cupquake, have been insane on the track, if one is off, the other one is on the ball! Halo has been the human wrecking machine this year. The Steamers need to keep themselves out of the penalty box this bout. Leaving Punk’d Pixie on the track to jam alone is a catastrophe waiting to happen. There is so much that can happen in this bout, I am just happy to be right in front for all the action!
Bombers vs. Knockers
OK now I know what people may be thinking this is just going to be a brutal beat-down by the Bombers, I am not sure if I see it going that way. The Knockers got nothing to lose in this bout, they will be laying it all on the track for this bout. Correct me if I am wrong but Skank Williams (who still owes me her interview) will not be skating for this bout? Will the Knockers try to win one for the Kipper (what the hell does that even mean)? Are the Bombers too focused on the finals? Have they overlooked the Knockers? Can the Knockers still frazzle the Bombers? Will the Bombers rest heavy hitters like Ego and Stroker? Will they focus on priming their rookies? Will Eggers preggers get in the way of her skating (it is mine BTW)? Do I feel like Carrie Bradshaw writing everything as a question (yes, I watch a shit-ton of Sex in the City)? There is only one way to know, and that is to be there screaming your head off like me! I have taken a lot of crap for loving the Bombers, people say I am just a front runner, or I just like them because they always win. But this is surely not the truth, anytime I ahve a party at the house, always more Bombers than other team (though the Pinups have been making a strong showing). Magic, our first derby escort, Chelle puts or chairs out for us, Olive, the only girl to have attended my martial arts class (why you all so scared), Stroker got me seriously working my strength and cardio, CoCo, the Dottie Hinson of Roller Derby, Amstel and the Thermador (Holy Shit do I get wasted), Slaughter, my baby momma (and now Destroya), I can go on and on. Don’t get it twisted though, I love everyone, for many reasons, too many to even count. I have did a complete 180 with Finnish-Her, now I love her very much! Monster has always been one of my favorites, and the second person to do an interview on sk8intheface (Taghurt was first). Pretty Scarrie has basically re-invented herself, which is insanely empowering. The Knockers are some fighters, and I love fighters!
Best of luck to all teams, may all the hours you and your teams have put in, result in a victory. Have fun, be safe and kick some ass!
First question, how is the back? Much better, thank you!! It was actually a combo back/hip issue, but both are much better, and I am back to my old self again….but faster and stronger. I can actually skate without pain now. Who knew?
When are you going to Jam a game?When the Browns win the Superbowl. No, really. I actually HAVE jammed in 2 games – once as a Hellbomber in Season Two against the Pinups, and once as an All-Star against the Black-N-Bluegrass Rollergirls of Florence, KY. I actually grand slammed their jammer in that one. I told the All-Stars I would jam if we were ever up by 100 points, and they called my bluff. I have learned to shut my mouth about things like that. If my team needs a ‘bully’ jammer to jam, I will, but don’t tell anyone. It’s a secret.
What inspired the name Morbid Cherub? That was actually a screen name of mine for about 3 years before the BRRG ever started up. Alot of people had already known me as Morbid, so I decided to just keep it that way.
What has been your greatest derby moment so far? Winning the Hazard Cup in Season One was the greatest so far. We skated with a roster of 10 all season long, and there were about 4 of us who skated more than 75% of the jams in every bout. I learned endurance the hard way that year. We had already lost to the Hard Knockers twice that season (by a 3 point margin each time) and we worked really hard as a team in the month before the championship. Repeating it the following 2 years has been phenomenal, but nothing can replace the high of that first one – except maybe winning Regionals one day (dare to dream?).
My second greatest moment was my All Star comeback against Brew City. Even though we lost the game, it was great being back on the track with the team.
Is it hard to have to take yourself off All-Star for an injury? It stunk. I missed playing Cincy, I missed ECE last year, and most sucky, I missed participating in Regionals last year. Being taken off the charter absolutely sucked, but it forced me to get my hip and back issue addressed. It took almost 6 months for me to get back to where I was skillwise before my back and hip starting flaring up, and then it took me another 5-6 months to get to where I am now. Even in that depressing situation, everyone on the All Stars was super supportive and played a big role in my improvement. They continue to force me to push my limits and get better.
What was your favorite All-Star bout? I really enjoy playing the higher level teams, so Detroit and Madison were 2 of my favorites. We lost both of those bouts by a good margin, but we learned so much from those teams that the score ended up being a moot point. You don’t get better by playing teams that are on a lower skill level than you. My second favorite All-Star bout was our home bout against Ft. Wayne where we won in overtime. Getting that first WFTDA win was awesome!
Do you enjoy All-Star or Interleague Bouts better?I like them both for different reasons. All-Star bouts are always harder games. You skate faster, work harder, and you aren’t familiar with the other skaters like you are at intra-league bouts, so you really have to be on your game. I love the challenge. I love our Intraleague home bouts because there is nothing like playing in front of your own fans. I like to crack wise on the start line, and you can’t do that as much with people you don’t know from other leagues. No one ever boos me at All-Star bouts though – what’s up with that?
What are your Season 4 goals?To win another Hazard Cup, of course. And it would be great if the league were able to hit a new attendance record before the end of the season. Personally, I am always working to improve my skills.
Who is your favorite person to hit on the track? I don’t know if I really have a favorite person to hit. Vix Smackey and I have had a good time cracking wise while knocking each other around over the last 3 1/2 seasons. Anyone else who gets in my way or screws with my jammer deserves to get hit. I am not sorry.
Talk to us about how the league has changed since you started? The league has evolved with the game. We had a lot more rocker-chick types when we first started up, but as the game has become more sport and less spectacle, the mix of women joining has really grown. The days of being able to look cute in your uniform and fishnets and get by are over. Now you have to bring it every game in order to compete. The league has really gained a lot of respect as a legitimate sport, whereas we used to be thought of as a novelty. It’s been a great experience to be a part of.
Who pushes you the hardest in the league?When I was recovering from my hip and back issues, Mommy’s Little Monster was always good for pushing me through All Star practices when I thought I wouldn’t be able to do any more.
You are always good for one brutal hit (and penalty), why you think that is? I think sometimes refs think that if a hit is really big and brutal looking, it could not have possibly been a clean hit. I’ve seen some of the other big hitters in the league get tagged similarly, so I know it’s not just me or my imagination. That being said, I do not go after people with the intent of hitting them big. I have the advantages of being solid and hard to knock over, so my hitting a smaller person may occasionally cause them to fly into trackside seating, or go airborne. I’m not sorry. I never hit people with the intent of hurting them, and I don’t play dirty.
What is your favorite thing to do, when you are not skating? I read a lot. When it’s nice, I like to go to the park and read in the sun or by the lake. In bad weather, I have been known to spend weekend evenings at Barnes and Noble reading in the cafe. I am a nerd.
What is it like having Quag as your brother?Is this a trick question? He was my brother long before he was Quagmire, though he did choose a pretty fitting name for himself. He is always getting himself in one predicament or another.
How has roller derby changed your life? I used to come home after work and sit in front of the television. I was out of shape, bored, and I had no friends. Now, I am none of those things!
One thing that was killing the Steamers was the amount of penalties, especially jammer penalties. But all in all, I am not sure how different the lineups were for the knockers, but you better keep it for next season. Knockers had pack control most of the night, setting up key blocks, trapping a steamer in the back and forcing twenty foots. And then there was Mommy’s Little Monster – holy shit!! Monster was unstoppable out on the track, over fifty points scored for her team, unbelievable! This bout was so exciting from start to finish, finals had brought out the best in the Knockers, and the Steamers just could not answer. Two in the pink, none in the stink, Ian and his pink snuggie, helped fuel the Knockers to a very powerful win over the always tough Steamers.
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