Happy Birthday to the one and only Killustrator!
Killy came on the scene last year, as a much needed addition to the Steamers! She was just want the Steamers needed, a powerful jammer who can play all positions on the track very well. From last years rookie to this years Captain; Killy has been helping power the SS Steamy through some amazing times, from a team two years prior last place, to last years second place (were number two), and with one of the most impressive comebacks in BRRG history with bout two’s performance over the Pinups. From blue Unitards to Gold Promitards, there is no saying what is next up Killy’s sleeves. From the speed of a cheetah, and the heart of a champion, The Turn Two Boys cant help but love the Killustrator. May your day be filled with joy and laughter!
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Where to start - what to say…
Bout 1 (Hellbombers v. Hard Knockers) was quite exciting for me for the first half. Kinda slow, but the bombers were actually down at the half. I couldn’t believe what I was seeing. Of course, that was all about to change. Whatever the bombers talk about at halftime works because it’s clear they come out with a new strategy, execute it and subsequently dominate. ‘Nuff said - bombers won.
Bout 2 (Rolling Pinups v. Cleveland Steamers) - Best Roller Derby Bout I Have Ever Seen!!! Starting out, the Pinups took the early lead and after taking the lead never trailed. It was a good bout and well battled on each side. And then we got to about 4 minutes left and the tides turned. Steamers stepped up the game pretty hardcore. Pinups had a few key mistakes that landed their people in the box and Steamers capitalized. 30 points in the final two jams of the bout took us to a tied score and overtime. I’ve seen overtime before, and nothing seems to have a bigger impact to the intensity and the crowd getting wild. I couldn’t believe what I was seeing. Overtime was coming to an end and the score was about to be tied again! Had there been about two or three more seconds on the clock, it likely would have ended right there, but there wasn’t and for the first time in BRRG history, we were headed to Double-Overtime! With the most intense game on the line, the teams took the track. Both jammers did an exceptional job, but in the end, it was The Steamers, led by team captain The Killustrator that came out on top with a 9 - 8 point jam, giving the Steamers the victory. I don’t know about you, but the energy I felt coming from the track and the energy I felt in the crowd was simply amazing. Well done ladies!
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OK this was quite the game, I was really impressed with the level of competition displayed during this bout. The Hard Knockers started off incredibly aggressive. One of the first notable highlights was watching the Ida Bitter try slamming into Knoxious Mallory with an incredible amount of force, and Knoxious did not budge! The second noteworthy moment was Check Republic jamming for the first time, and doing well! It made me extremely happy to see the bout stay so close into the half. The Bombers struggled against the Knockers defense, who constantly held firm walls on Jammers, and worked well creating holes for their own Jammers. Vendetta Farfalle jamming for the Knockers was an unexpected event which worked well for the Knockers as well. At the end of the half Knockers were up by 7, with the score 30 - 23.
However, the second half was completely owned by the Hellbombers. Forcing Knockers into the box, and being able to nickle and dime their way up the score board. It never ceases to amaze me how well their jammers control the board, whether it is, holding jammers to run down clock (CoCo) or just brutally beating their jammers to a pulp (Bitter). And what a beating Skank Williams took out there, that night. If I were you, and Ida Bitter was my landlord, I would pull an “Upper Decker” in the near future on her. The Bombers only allowed the Knockers to score 10 points in the second half. The biggest moment of this game was owned by the beautiful and talented CoCo Sparx, who came off the track as lead Jammer to slap hands with the Turn Two Boys, IMPRESSIVE! She’s the Roller Derby version of Gina Davis in “A League of their Own” minus the Ginger characteristics! In the end, the Hellbombers scratch another notch on their belt (that’s a lot of notches) and took home the victory. Final score 40 - 85 Hellbombers.
Intermission show, Rocking Robots, I freaking love these guys. I loved them when I first saw them back at opening day 2008, and I loved them for this bout too. They are very entertaining, they do a hell of a show, and make it extremely fun for all. I not a big fan of that butter-face song by Lady GaGa, but they made me dancing kinda like it!I think I lost my voice yelling for the robots! Also, went upstairs to the fan booth to pass out a couple hugs and said hi to a few friends. It is pretty crazy because the last person I spoke with was the “Burrito Sheriff” Morbid Cherub. I asked her why she didn’t jam (everyone should know by now that I yell it every game), she expressed to me that she didn’t feel comfortable jamming because she didn’t feel they had that strong of a lead. To paraphrase: “I just didn’t feel like we were that far ahead, if you were to put me up against someone like Monster, she could potentially pull 20 points down on that jam, then we would be in a situation”….. Which brings me to the next bout.
Now I tell you, I said I expected this bout to be murderous, but never in my lifetime could I have ever envisioned such an amazing bout! You can’t script something that incredible… Sports Time Ohio, eat your heart out!
It is really hard for me to blog about this bout because it was absolutely incredible, I am pretty sure I peed myself a little bit from all the excitement. Both teams played really well, but the Pinups just kept getting the upper hand in the exchange. The Pinups manage to control the front of the pack for much of the first half, fantastic blocking by Vix Smackey and Candy Snatcher, was a key element in ensuring Punk’d Pixie carried over that momentum that she had in the first bout this year. Slambassador (whose birthday it was, Happy Birthday Slammy) also, did some incredible jamming herself. In a change of pace, Killy and Booty two jamming powerhouses, failed to rack up a lot of points in the first half; however, they did a great job of keeping 0 point jams when not lead jammer. With the Pinups going into the half with nice lead, things looked well for the Pinups.
I would like to note that I really liked the halftime interview ideas, that was a very intelligent move. Interview of the night goes to Margarita Mayhem; well thought, well presented, and very cordial, great job Mayhem.
After halftime it was really more of the same, Pinups just slightly one upping the Steamers. But the Steamers kept fighting, Killy started to really let loose out there on the track and score some points, Cupquake is definitely making a name for herself out there as well. Two jams from victory, the Pinups with a 30 point lead, the Pinups made a decision that will forever be ingrained into their heads. It is not uncommon to prime a rookie for a jammer position while you have a comfortable lead. The Bombers have been doing it the past two games with Eduskater. However, when sending a rookie out on the track you have to have a strong pack. Once Chatter hit the penalty box things went haywire, also not helping the equation were two Pinups rookies getting thrown into the box for blatant 20 foot penalties. Back to back 15 point jams, and this bout is sent into overtime! Had that jam lasted two more seconds, Killy would have passed a blocker way in the back, for a 16 point jam! The venue was freaking out, Steamers fans were out of their seats awaiting this moment the entire game, Pinups fans were still gasping for air from what had occurred. I was flabbergasted (I don’t even use words like that), I could not believe what had just occurred. 1st Overtime jam, more pandemonium as the pack looked more like a parade, people were everywhere, both jammers were scrambling for every point they could, and managed to keep the game tied. Double overtime, Professor Booty vs The Killustrator, both packs are stacked with veterans, this is it. As the jam took place The Killustrator came out of the pack first, Booty grabs her third minor, shortly after then gets a fourth minor and is sent to the box. As the jam took place Killy came out of the pack first, Boots grabs her third minor, then gets a fourth minor and is sent to the box. Killy snags a point for the win! Killy falls to the ground in front of Turn 2 overwhelmed with joy and exhaustion….. now that is fucking some shit up :)! Steamers in the craziest comeback ever, steam their way to victory 86-85.
Though I heard the typical complaints from skaters on how bad the refs were, I disagree. This bout was one of the better ref’ed games I have ever seen, of course you are never going to be able to catch everything (that is the joy of derby), but I felt this was a vast improvement from the last bout. I felt that the Jammer refs were great, Scissor Lick is not intimidated by anyone (Good try Monster), Pist as a jammer ref was a fantastic call. And the organization by the outside track refs this game was much needed! Great job refs, no complaints from Turn Two!
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Here we go again, second bout of the 2010 Season, man I could not be more excited. Here’s where we stand after the first bout. Hellbombers off to their regular 1-0 start with a win over the Steamers 0-1. The Pinups coming from last place last year to this year with a win in their first bout, and what a bout it was. The whole venue was electrified in the second half when the Pinups mounted an out of no-where comeback from the damage delivered in the first half by the Knockers. In the end the Pinups 1-0 pulled out the win over the Knockers 0-1 who fought tooth and nail to keep that early lead.
HellBombers vs Hard Knockers
If life was not tough enough for Knockers and Knockers fans last month, tomorrow is sure to fulfill that void. But the Knockers are fighters, if you think they are walking into this bout thinking about anything but victory, you are sadly mistaken (note to this day the Knockers are the only team who has defeated the Bombers, and they did it twice). For what ever reason the Knockers level of game-play always steps up against the Bombers; I am not sure why this is, but just wait and see. Skank Williams is like a freaking Ninja at scoring points, very cunning, its like you never see it happen. Finnish-Her played one of her best games ever last bout, punishing the Pinups, pulling lead jammer 5 out of the 8 times she jammed. Scarrie put quite a few points as a jammer but played some serious defense as a pivot. Monster seemed to have an off day last bout, but if she is on for this bout… look out. The biggest thing the Knockers need to do is keep their aces in their places, pay close attention which packs are consistently working wewll together, and keep high profile jammers (Bitter and Stroker) off the track as much as possible.
Now I don’t know how the Bombers do it each year but they mange to take rookies and turn them into vicious killers! Eduskater racked up 29 points in her debut, this is serious work! The Bombers keep their decked stacked, never is their a jam where there is not an All-Star on the track (and at times there is 2 or 3). Just ask T-O what it is like to blast through the pack, only to get laid out by an All-Star (or ex All-Star) pivot. This is what makes the Bombers who they are, the level of competition on that team drives each individual to excellence. If you want what they got, you got to do what they do. Don’t get me wrong, they still have holes, if you are good you can find your way through their pack fairly well, however if you do not pay attention to the the veterans, its a bumpy ride.
Cleveland Steamers vs Rolling Pin Ups
Now this is the game that I am ready for, this bout has the makings of a murderous night written all over it.
The Steamers are a solid team, I noted to WC last bout how the Steamers look larger overall, from 2008 the Steamers just seemed like tiny lil girls with a couple power houses (Stealth, X, Dita, and Halo) this year I see a much more solid team, even people like Slammy (my bad Hi-5) have picked up muscle mass, and are much harder to push around. Their jammers have tenacity like I have never seen, if you give them an inch, they will take a mile (and a crap load of points too) However, Take-Out will not be skating this night, she will be living the high life sitting with the Turn 2 Boys (it is an experience like no other). Halochic, you are a human wrecking ball, you are like a destructive bouncy ball that got placed into a pinball machine just for the sake of carnage. I am excited to see the outcome of this bout, its up for grabs, who wants it most. A big boost to the Steamers Ego will arrive in the form of Pain Austen, Damnasty International, and Primp Daddy, three incredibly talented Old Skool Steamers, who will be here to cheer on old and new Steam-mates, if your smart you will listen for their help on the track!
Watching the Pinups in the first half of their last bout, I was very worried. I saw blockers not looking backwards, noticing the jammer too late, and just getting rolled over. After the second half, the blockers were back to what I had anticipated them to be, insanely aggressive, extremely intelligent, and able to communicate with one another on the track. The jammers looked extremely impressive, especially Punk’d Pixie scoring a whopping 25 points! Hidden Ajenda is another strong contender for Rookie of the year, with both great jamming and strong blocking. Still, I expected more from certain Pinups, maybe they will impress me this bout. Pinups you will need to keep your ears open for what Shocker and Eva are throwing out, those two being able to view the whole playing field makes for a huge advantage. Pinups rookies - extra pressure rests on your shoulders, be sure you are paying close attention out there, especially when the pact gets chaotic. You guys know what you need to do out there, now you just have to do it.
I really hope to see some fireworks out on the track tomorrow. Both games will be very cut-throat, very gritty. Honestly, I think every rookie should at least get one minor, to let me know you are here to put in work! Good luck to everyone, be safe, play hard, and get that victory!
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For many years, the world of Sk8intheFace has lived completely on the shoulders of Turn Two Boy, R.E. I am happy to say that going forward I will contributing be my two cents to the readers. A little background on me… For years, R.E. has been hounding me to come to a bout. Raving about how wonderful Derby and BRRG is. After much procrastination, I finally made my first bout last year and I have been hooked since. I started this year off right, sitting with my friends at Turn Two and plan to continue this throughout the rest of the season. I am counting down to April 3rd and cannot wait to see such another awesome evening of derby bouts. And to get the record straight right away: My name is Chris, I will cheer for every team, but when it comes down to it… I’m a Steamers fan at heart.
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Magic Lee Malicious - 2008 & 2009 Cougar of the year, first seducer of WC, and a dear friend of Turn 2. Having the pleasure of Magic’s company on a trip down to Fart Wayne, I learned a lot about Magic, her likes, dislikes, her passion (derby), and her best friend (Colby). It was in that trip that I realized just how amazing a person Magic is, I only knew her as the partying Hellbomber, it wasn’t till that trip I learned so much about the character that makes Magic Lee Malicious who she is. Magic is a special girl to Turn 2, most importantly from her PIMP status as the only girl who pulled off the task of accompanying both Turn 2 Boys to the ‘08 banquet.
Magic is the type of girl who would give her left arm to you if she could, her ability to put so many before her is unfathomable. Turn 2 is proud to call Magic a dear friend, we have had many laughs together, unfortunately since she has brought on many extra tasks with the league we do not hear from her as much.
Rocking the Purple Horseshoe, and skating on the most feared team in the league, Magic still is a very humble person. She is proud of her accomplishments, and continues to strive for excellence on the track. Bu don’t be fooled, Magic can get as crazy as the next one; if it is not tackling people at the Garage, licking Turn 2 faces, or forcing a WC motor-boating, then it is some crazy other new stunt for the day, but that is why we love you. Enjoy your day Magic, and don’t worry, Turn 2 will find you Saturday for your birthday spankins!
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Turn 2 is happy to express our love for the Burning River Roller Girls and their success over these past 4 years.
Since my first bout Sunday April 6th 2008, I have seen this league grow in leaps and bounds; from the quaint North Olmstead Soccer Sportsplex, to the massive “Wolstein Center” right in the heart of Cleveland. I have enjoyed the view from Turn 2 as the level of game play has picked up with strong rookies stepping up, and veterans who have push themselves harder than ever before. It is amazing to look back and think how far this sport has come, I thank everyone who has poured their heart and soul into a sport that nothing short of beautiful. In the past 3 years since I first viewed a bout, I have made some incredible friendships that I deeply adore; thank you for your love, support, laughs, advice, and most importantly your dedication.
Everyone should be proud of their achievements, and contributions to the league.
HAPPY FOURTH ANNIVERSARY!!
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mor·bid - suggesting an unhealthy mental state or attitude; unwholesomely gloomy, sensitive, extreme, etc.
cher·ub - a member of the second order of angels, often represented as a beautiful rosy-cheeked child with wings.
Morbid Cherub - One of the most fierce Hellbombers, the one you do not want to meet in a dark alley way (or try to pass on the flat track). A hard shell wraps her warm heart, and her infectious laugh warms your soul. May you birthday be filled with laughs, happiness, friends, and excitement.
Happy Birthday Morbid Cherub!
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Happy Birthday Stroker Ace!!
Turn 2 is blessed to call you a friend, WC and I love you to pieces; we hope you have a fantastic birthday. Last year on your birthday I was in a hotel looking down at the parade and there you go gliding down the street hanging on to a FireTruck, on your skates! I hope your birthday is equally as fun this year!
Anyone that sees Stroker today, please be sure to tell her that you are her twin sister “Spanker Ace”, and do not forget to dish out some birthday spankings!
She was a real hot shot and she bragged a lot
On skates, that girl could fly
Cause she loved the feel of her quad wheels and the girls with the bedroom eyes
And on Derby night or a bar room fight
Old Stroker stole the show
A back street blazer and a real hell raiser and a flat-track Romeo!
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This is a mad dash of thoughts from Saturdays Bout in perfect order of my disorganized brain.
Wow, this is for real, Wolstein Center, oh crap 10 bucks to park, look for better spot.
Ahhh 6 dollar parking garage right next door, that is nice!
Man there sure are a lot of people pouring into here!
Ok how the heck do I get down to the ground floor, ah small maze, I love mazes!
Oh no! My seat! Umm you don’t mind if I just nudge this over just a little bit, just a little bit more, just a touch more, ok thank you!
Sweet, this is the number one crash location, I sure do miss the 8 foot borders though.
Wow I wanted to say hi to Rev. and just hugged like 10 people on the way, man do I love roller derby!
WC is here, all is safe in the world now (He is my wife remember)!
Hey funny looking guy in the blue shirt, I NEED A PROGRAM!!!
Merch Table sold out of a lot of stuff, this is serious!
Damn, that girl can sing!
Bout one lets get it started!
Who the heck is that, wow I need learn the freshies names.
Ok boo Finnish-HER during the demo, just cuz it will be funny.
The Knockers are totally working the Pinups, I did not see this coming!
Hey Finnish-HER just said some really mean stuff, but I am not sure what she said, ah no worries.
Holy Crap Soulie has gotten really fast, she is hot on Scarries heels!
Ouch, helmet cover on the ground, that is going to hurt.
Man, everyone watching this has got to be glued!
Blockers, do you have no clue where the jammer is!?!?
Did I just get flipped off!?!? Pact broken… booo!!!
Pinups have some new life after halftime.
Where is my interview Skank!?!?!
Punk’d Pixie is doing great today!
Man I should have not said that stuff about Finnish-Her, she is jamming like there is no tomorrow!
My voice is already gone!
Hidden Ajenda has some much welcomed speed.
Monster your helmet cover again! Hey don’t touch that ref, PUT IT DOWN!
Oh my God this is soo close!
Pinups have taken the lead, WOW!
Boots no! How many times do I have to tell you “if my finger is swirling, hands off those hips”!
Punk’d Pixie again…. DAMN!
The Pinups won, did this really just go down like that! That was AMAZING!
I love high Five’s at the end!
I remember these break dancers last time they did way better, are they the same group!?
There should have been turtle races going on too, even though I always lose money on them!
Ah Gatorade, thanks WC I love you!
Some of my voice back, save it for the bout.
Alright, bout number 2!
Wow, the bombers look tough warming up.
Oop, Killy does not care she is skating right up and in there!
Blue and Gold, this is going to take some getting used to!
The S.S. Steamy wow, I am at a loss for words right now.
Ok, it really is funny with Cap and Ass Cap skiing in the back!
Are the Hellbombers fist pumping?!?!
Yep, they def. are fist pumping!!!
Alright lets see some action.
Wow, Stroker just scored 9 and didn’t turn up the heat, that is scary!
Ok this is becoming painful to watch!
Yeah I know your bored but it is not my fault CoCo spikes her teams drinks with Gun Powder.
Damn, even their rookies look tough!
Ok Steamers got there first points on the board and don’t get them all, that sux!
X-Tron-X just hooked me up with a set of the 2010 League Player Cards, how cool is she!
Hi 5, nope you will Always be Slammy to me!
Do Take-Outs Wheels light up?
Aww sitting with Soulie watching some lil 5 year old kid tell her how much he likes her and wants a High 5 = Priceless
CoCo cleverly waits to go into the penalty box!
Halochic is out there playing rock em’ sock em’ robots with anyone near her!
Olive Bruises just passed the Star to Destroya, well done!
Steamers are working hard to get some points get some points on the board!
coco working with a rookie on the track, HOLY SHIT X-RATED just creamed that girl!
CoCo retaliates and is sent to the box for hitting (I mean blocking) out of bounds.
Take-Out is about to get lead jammer, Stroker Ace out of nowhere plants her on her ass.
Someone just slid into us, sure do miss the days when I would get completely trampled!
Still trying to get used to the blue and gold
Go Killy, non-stop no matter what, this is why I love derby!
“Yours is a fascinating tribe… defiant even in the face of annihilation.” Movie quote!
Stroker Ace is playing with the Steamers jammer like a great white shark toys with a sea otter, I love jammer on jammer action!
Bout is over, I need to pee!
Head to the car then to the after-party!
20 minutes into the after-party, I am hot and sweaty, in this tiny lil venue its loud packed and I don’t know anyone.
Off to the Garage, I just want an ice cold Guiness.
Chat it up with a few Knockers, and buy Finnish-HER a Lambic because I feel bad.
Call it a night, I need to step my party game back up.
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