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BRRG vs Brew City
First off let me just say that the freaking video footage sucked, real bad, I could have did better with my HTC Touch Pro 2. All video footage was extremely choppy and made it very hard to see what was going on, I was back and forth between my flat screen and laptop, both sucked equally.
Now onto the bout; I just did not see this happening, everything played out so differently in my head. I seriously do not remember Brew City being so gigantic! Our biggest problem was not catching their blockers setting picks early enough, or just getting bullied around. Brew City was able to open up the inside line for their jammers all night. Their tail blockers man handled our jammers, and constantly held them up in the back of the pack. Despite all this we still were staying close; when their jammers hit the box, we punished them for it. BY the time we walked into the half we had cut into their lead, and were only shy 16 points. This is where I thought we would regroup, get it figured out, and come back and smash them. But as the second half started out, we broke down. Back to back power jams, put a real hurt on us. From there they just kept pulling away from us, taking lead jam more often, grabbing quick points and pushing us around with ease.
I thank my baby momma Slaughterama for helping me from jumping up and down and cursing so damn much (I didn’t lose my voice) and we chatted in between jams. I just don’t know what happen, on paper we had everything going for us, most everyone was still skating, we had new All-Stars on our roster. But in all this it seemed to lose some of the tight-knit all-star feel that I am use to feeling. In the end, Brew City played an amazing game to which we had no answer for.
BRRG vs. ARRG
This bout I did not really get to watch, my class runs from 1pm to 3pm (when you feel tough, come and put it to the test). So when the bout started I was running from class to office checking on the laptop. Every time I looked at the laptop I shook my head in disbelief, I watched ARRG yesterday and they looked like shit, how are we unable to put points on the board…. GRRRR!! Needles to say I was walking back into my class pretty pissed, good thing I put them through their conditioning first! Each time I would tell WC the score and his face was looked just as stunned as the previous time. I wish I could have watched more of that bout and tell you more, but I had to teach.
I hope we can get this all-star team figured out and back to where I know we should be and fast! You girls are way better than this, I seen you play month after month. We need to become more competitive as a travel team. You need to figure out, what players need to be in what positions to achieve the best results. Stop playing people where they want to be played, and put them where you need them. Better luck next time
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This weekend brings one hell of a tournament, Midwest Brewhaha up in Milwakee has some of WFTDA’s heavy hitters. The need for BRRG All-Stars to take home two victories is pivotal in our WFTDA Power Rankings. In our first bout, we face the Brewcity All-Stars who will have a major home court advantage. The last time we played Brewcity, we had a strong lead; many had felt we had the game won, but we got lackadaisical and let the lead slip out of our hands. If this happens again, I will freaking kill somebody!
Brew City All-Stars vs Burning River All-Stars
Looking at both teams line up, it is clear to see that both teams have not lost any of their aces. However, I feel we have extra player cards in our deck. I am so excited to see this bout, I love All-Star bouts, I really wish that I could be there. Knowing that Eva will not be skating this bout saddens me, although I feel this is a great opportunity for some of our other jammers to showcase their skills. I really hope that everyone is on the ball and ready to fight. I see a lot of opportunity for us to use this bout to make a statement. We can beat this team, we will beat this team, actually we will destroy this team. Our jammers are better, our blockers are better, our teamwork is better.
From watching the last game, I remember their defense sucked, they were a fast team, but they just could not stop our jammers. One of our biggest problems was our penalties, especially our jammers. This bout we will have to ensure we stay out of the box, and force them to make penalties. But do not forget, home court advantage could make for hesitant to call penalty refs. Hacksaw and High Voltage are great skaters, do not let them get momentum, shut them down. I am not going to say anything more, you guys know what you need to do, you know who needs to be where. You have all the tools to win this bout, now go do it!
I will post Arch Rival bout tomorrow night, to be honest I am not worried about them either!
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In what was the most impressive bout of the season so far, the HellBombers manage to retain their undefeated reign by the narrowest of margins. This bout was one of the lowest scoring bouts that I have ever witnessed as the Bombers scored just three points over the Pinups 47-50. Turn Two was in total amazement, from beginning to end.
To start things off with the first jam, another first Stroker did not get lead jammer and score her usual 8-9 points. Instead Punk’d Pixie pulls lead jam and starts the day off with an 0-3 lead, as a matter-of-fact Pixie managed to score the first 25 points for the Pinups. The excitement never ceased, both teams were were laying it all out on the track. The defensive strategies played by both teams were some of the greatest I have seen, the tail block battles between CoCo, Soulie, Garguilo, and Boots were just down right brutal. Eva Lucien… Hell yeah, welcome back Lil Lady, you were on fire out there! This bout stayed so close the whole game, I was actually shocked at how close it stayed. After half-time I thought the Hellbombers would come out guns blazing and the Pinups would be too fatigued to hang in there. Fortunately, I was way wrong, watching the Pinups stifle jammers like Garguilo, and Stroker I was in awe. Now CoCo Sparx that is a different story, on three separate occasions CoCo Sparx out skated the lead jammer, and forced them to call the jam before it ever hit the pack. Who put the firecracker in CoCo’s ass, that girl was so fast that night. And Garguilo, watching you freak out for a point that you had already received was pretty damn funny, mostly because Scissor-Lick is so un-phased by you women that as a fan you just have to laugh!
Oddly enough I saw some very different player lineups from the Bombers, often seeing Destroya on the pivot line three times in a row. Pivots calling some sort of audible, didn’t seem to work for them, I would just go with what you know. With such as close game, every little mistake can be tragic. In one of the craziest moments Stroker Ace managed to have her jammer pantie inside out on her helmet, for three laps her team tried to get her to flip and she kept adjusting, but that net the Bombers 10 missed points. Stroker never looked so devastated on the bench. Unfortunately that is what happens when you wear the Knockers panties (that sounds dirty). I just want to say thank you to both teams for such an exciting (I lost my voice within the first 15 minutes) and well played game. All that excitement was quickly muffled by the last jam, Boots vs. CoCo Boots seemed to break through the pack first but was just short of the 25 foot rule, as the Bombers managed to get her back towards the pack, CoCo broke out as lead jammer and quickly called the jam.
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Rolling Pinups vs HellBombers
I mean what do you do, your are going up against the toughest team in the league. Triple hazard cup champs, no signs of slowing down, all powerhouses; Pinups welcome welcome to your reality. Personally, I would pull a Tonya Harding on Stroker if I were a Pinup, maybe cling wrap CoCo to a tree, hog-tie Destroya, and lock Gargiulo in a trunk. The Pinups have been some slow starters this year, needing around 6-10 minutes each bout to get in sync on the track. This game you will not have that luxury, in 10 minutes the Bombers can be pull 60 points and leave you at the starting line. You will need to on the ball from the first whistle, do not let the Bombers shake you up, keep moving and keep your eyes open.
Also, I know this is not status-quo for the Pinups (who love to give everyone equal playing time) but shave those a little and play your powerhouses slightly more than usual. If Boots and Soulie are not in the game at least 50% you are setting yourself up for failure. Now if we lace up Eva, then we got a real game here, adding another powerhouse jammer, and one of the best “triple threat” players in the league could put some serious fear in the Bombers confidence. Only time will tell on Eva’s return, turn 2 is patiently waiting. The Pinups have their hardest bout to date this season; their first bout came they came back as the underdogs, the second game they had the rug pulled out from them, and now onto the third. Can the Skeleton crew plagued by injuries take down the beast, or will it be another HellBomber victory, only time can tell. The best thing you can do is try to keep the score close, try to keep Gargiulo, and Stroker off the jam line as much ass possible, and skate like your life depends on it.
Cleveland Steamers vs Hard Knockers
This is the game that will have people out of their seats (mainly me, while getting yelled at from everyone behind me), I expect this bout to be a roller-coaster ride, with the lead going back and forth. Expect some real cut throat, nasty jams in the second half by both sides. In the Steamers last bout I was surprised to see Slammy only jam once, I expected to see her jam more. The Steamers are in need of a stronger offense with the loss of Take-Out, that said their defense… all power! Now the Hard Knockers have no shortage of powerful jammers, I thought with the loss of Cheddar things would go downhill, boy was I wrong. The Knockers have been making major strides this season (don’t let the numbers foo you), this bout could prove to be the pivoting point in the season for them. The Skank, Finnish-Her, Monster trifecta is a hard group to stop, on top of that you throw in Scarrie and now Vendetta two contrasting jammers in their own light it is tough on a team to prepare for that type of change-up. I must say I am surprised as to how little Concrete Blondie is being used, she is quick, powerful, and could even put the star on if need be, I could say the same about Knoxious Mallory as well, use your team effectively, be dynamic in your lineups.
I think what this bout is going to boil down to for both teams is how quickly they can determine what lineups are working for them and which ones are failing. Play your strengths; for the Steamers, your defense has too be impeccable, without your jammers paying the price, Knockers, know which jammers are on point and which are struggling, watch your penalties, and ensure you are breaking on walls.
I love you all and hope for some explosive derby action this Saturday. Everyone be safe, put in a 100%, and kick some ass out there!
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Happy Birthday to the one and only Killustrator!
Killy came on the scene last year, as a much needed addition to the Steamers! She was just want the Steamers needed, a powerful jammer who can play all positions on the track very well. From last years rookie to this years Captain; Killy has been helping power the SS Steamy through some amazing times, from a team two years prior last place, to last years second place (were number two), and with one of the most impressive comebacks in BRRG history with bout two’s performance over the Pinups. From blue Unitards to Gold Promitards, there is no saying what is next up Killy’s sleeves. From the speed of a cheetah, and the heart of a champion, The Turn Two Boys cant help but love the Killustrator. May your day be filled with joy and laughter!
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OK this was quite the game, I was really impressed with the level of competition displayed during this bout. The Hard Knockers started off incredibly aggressive. One of the first notable highlights was watching the Ida Bitter try slamming into Knoxious Mallory with an incredible amount of force, and Knoxious did not budge! The second noteworthy moment was Check Republic jamming for the first time, and doing well! It made me extremely happy to see the bout stay so close into the half. The Bombers struggled against the Knockers defense, who constantly held firm walls on Jammers, and worked well creating holes for their own Jammers. Vendetta Farfalle jamming for the Knockers was an unexpected event which worked well for the Knockers as well. At the end of the half Knockers were up by 7, with the score 30 - 23.
However, the second half was completely owned by the Hellbombers. Forcing Knockers into the box, and being able to nickle and dime their way up the score board. It never ceases to amaze me how well their jammers control the board, whether it is, holding jammers to run down clock (CoCo) or just brutally beating their jammers to a pulp (Bitter). And what a beating Skank Williams took out there, that night. If I were you, and Ida Bitter was my landlord, I would pull an “Upper Decker” in the near future on her. The Bombers only allowed the Knockers to score 10 points in the second half. The biggest moment of this game was owned by the beautiful and talented CoCo Sparx, who came off the track as lead Jammer to slap hands with the Turn Two Boys, IMPRESSIVE! She’s the Roller Derby version of Gina Davis in “A League of their Own” minus the Ginger characteristics! In the end, the Hellbombers scratch another notch on their belt (that’s a lot of notches) and took home the victory. Final score 40 - 85 Hellbombers.
Intermission show, Rocking Robots, I freaking love these guys. I loved them when I first saw them back at opening day 2008, and I loved them for this bout too. They are very entertaining, they do a hell of a show, and make it extremely fun for all. I not a big fan of that butter-face song by Lady GaGa, but they made me dancing kinda like it!I think I lost my voice yelling for the robots! Also, went upstairs to the fan booth to pass out a couple hugs and said hi to a few friends. It is pretty crazy because the last person I spoke with was the “Burrito Sheriff” Morbid Cherub. I asked her why she didn’t jam (everyone should know by now that I yell it every game), she expressed to me that she didn’t feel comfortable jamming because she didn’t feel they had that strong of a lead. To paraphrase: “I just didn’t feel like we were that far ahead, if you were to put me up against someone like Monster, she could potentially pull 20 points down on that jam, then we would be in a situation”….. Which brings me to the next bout.
Now I tell you, I said I expected this bout to be murderous, but never in my lifetime could I have ever envisioned such an amazing bout! You can’t script something that incredible… Sports Time Ohio, eat your heart out!
It is really hard for me to blog about this bout because it was absolutely incredible, I am pretty sure I peed myself a little bit from all the excitement. Both teams played really well, but the Pinups just kept getting the upper hand in the exchange. The Pinups manage to control the front of the pack for much of the first half, fantastic blocking by Vix Smackey and Candy Snatcher, was a key element in ensuring Punk’d Pixie carried over that momentum that she had in the first bout this year. Slambassador (whose birthday it was, Happy Birthday Slammy) also, did some incredible jamming herself. In a change of pace, Killy and Booty two jamming powerhouses, failed to rack up a lot of points in the first half; however, they did a great job of keeping 0 point jams when not lead jammer. With the Pinups going into the half with nice lead, things looked well for the Pinups.
I would like to note that I really liked the halftime interview ideas, that was a very intelligent move. Interview of the night goes to Margarita Mayhem; well thought, well presented, and very cordial, great job Mayhem.
After halftime it was really more of the same, Pinups just slightly one upping the Steamers. But the Steamers kept fighting, Killy started to really let loose out there on the track and score some points, Cupquake is definitely making a name for herself out there as well. Two jams from victory, the Pinups with a 30 point lead, the Pinups made a decision that will forever be ingrained into their heads. It is not uncommon to prime a rookie for a jammer position while you have a comfortable lead. The Bombers have been doing it the past two games with Eduskater. However, when sending a rookie out on the track you have to have a strong pack. Once Chatter hit the penalty box things went haywire, also not helping the equation were two Pinups rookies getting thrown into the box for blatant 20 foot penalties. Back to back 15 point jams, and this bout is sent into overtime! Had that jam lasted two more seconds, Killy would have passed a blocker way in the back, for a 16 point jam! The venue was freaking out, Steamers fans were out of their seats awaiting this moment the entire game, Pinups fans were still gasping for air from what had occurred. I was flabbergasted (I don’t even use words like that), I could not believe what had just occurred. 1st Overtime jam, more pandemonium as the pack looked more like a parade, people were everywhere, both jammers were scrambling for every point they could, and managed to keep the game tied. Double overtime, Professor Booty vs The Killustrator, both packs are stacked with veterans, this is it. As the jam took place The Killustrator came out of the pack first, Booty grabs her third minor, shortly after then gets a fourth minor and is sent to the box. As the jam took place Killy came out of the pack first, Boots grabs her third minor, then gets a fourth minor and is sent to the box. Killy snags a point for the win! Killy falls to the ground in front of Turn 2 overwhelmed with joy and exhaustion….. now that is fucking some shit up :)! Steamers in the craziest comeback ever, steam their way to victory 86-85.
Though I heard the typical complaints from skaters on how bad the refs were, I disagree. This bout was one of the better ref’ed games I have ever seen, of course you are never going to be able to catch everything (that is the joy of derby), but I felt this was a vast improvement from the last bout. I felt that the Jammer refs were great, Scissor Lick is not intimidated by anyone (Good try Monster), Pist as a jammer ref was a fantastic call. And the organization by the outside track refs this game was much needed! Great job refs, no complaints from Turn Two!
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Here we go again, second bout of the 2010 Season, man I could not be more excited. Here’s where we stand after the first bout. Hellbombers off to their regular 1-0 start with a win over the Steamers 0-1. The Pinups coming from last place last year to this year with a win in their first bout, and what a bout it was. The whole venue was electrified in the second half when the Pinups mounted an out of no-where comeback from the damage delivered in the first half by the Knockers. In the end the Pinups 1-0 pulled out the win over the Knockers 0-1 who fought tooth and nail to keep that early lead.
HellBombers vs Hard Knockers
If life was not tough enough for Knockers and Knockers fans last month, tomorrow is sure to fulfill that void. But the Knockers are fighters, if you think they are walking into this bout thinking about anything but victory, you are sadly mistaken (note to this day the Knockers are the only team who has defeated the Bombers, and they did it twice). For what ever reason the Knockers level of game-play always steps up against the Bombers; I am not sure why this is, but just wait and see. Skank Williams is like a freaking Ninja at scoring points, very cunning, its like you never see it happen. Finnish-Her played one of her best games ever last bout, punishing the Pinups, pulling lead jammer 5 out of the 8 times she jammed. Scarrie put quite a few points as a jammer but played some serious defense as a pivot. Monster seemed to have an off day last bout, but if she is on for this bout… look out. The biggest thing the Knockers need to do is keep their aces in their places, pay close attention which packs are consistently working wewll together, and keep high profile jammers (Bitter and Stroker) off the track as much as possible.
Now I don’t know how the Bombers do it each year but they mange to take rookies and turn them into vicious killers! Eduskater racked up 29 points in her debut, this is serious work! The Bombers keep their decked stacked, never is their a jam where there is not an All-Star on the track (and at times there is 2 or 3). Just ask T-O what it is like to blast through the pack, only to get laid out by an All-Star (or ex All-Star) pivot. This is what makes the Bombers who they are, the level of competition on that team drives each individual to excellence. If you want what they got, you got to do what they do. Don’t get me wrong, they still have holes, if you are good you can find your way through their pack fairly well, however if you do not pay attention to the the veterans, its a bumpy ride.
Cleveland Steamers vs Rolling Pin Ups
Now this is the game that I am ready for, this bout has the makings of a murderous night written all over it.
The Steamers are a solid team, I noted to WC last bout how the Steamers look larger overall, from 2008 the Steamers just seemed like tiny lil girls with a couple power houses (Stealth, X, Dita, and Halo) this year I see a much more solid team, even people like Slammy (my bad Hi-5) have picked up muscle mass, and are much harder to push around. Their jammers have tenacity like I have never seen, if you give them an inch, they will take a mile (and a crap load of points too) However, Take-Out will not be skating this night, she will be living the high life sitting with the Turn 2 Boys (it is an experience like no other). Halochic, you are a human wrecking ball, you are like a destructive bouncy ball that got placed into a pinball machine just for the sake of carnage. I am excited to see the outcome of this bout, its up for grabs, who wants it most. A big boost to the Steamers Ego will arrive in the form of Pain Austen, Damnasty International, and Primp Daddy, three incredibly talented Old Skool Steamers, who will be here to cheer on old and new Steam-mates, if your smart you will listen for their help on the track!
Watching the Pinups in the first half of their last bout, I was very worried. I saw blockers not looking backwards, noticing the jammer too late, and just getting rolled over. After the second half, the blockers were back to what I had anticipated them to be, insanely aggressive, extremely intelligent, and able to communicate with one another on the track. The jammers looked extremely impressive, especially Punk’d Pixie scoring a whopping 25 points! Hidden Ajenda is another strong contender for Rookie of the year, with both great jamming and strong blocking. Still, I expected more from certain Pinups, maybe they will impress me this bout. Pinups you will need to keep your ears open for what Shocker and Eva are throwing out, those two being able to view the whole playing field makes for a huge advantage. Pinups rookies - extra pressure rests on your shoulders, be sure you are paying close attention out there, especially when the pact gets chaotic. You guys know what you need to do out there, now you just have to do it.
I really hope to see some fireworks out on the track tomorrow. Both games will be very cut-throat, very gritty. Honestly, I think every rookie should at least get one minor, to let me know you are here to put in work! Good luck to everyone, be safe, play hard, and get that victory!
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Magic Lee Malicious - 2008 & 2009 Cougar of the year, first seducer of WC, and a dear friend of Turn 2. Having the pleasure of Magic’s company on a trip down to Fart Wayne, I learned a lot about Magic, her likes, dislikes, her passion (derby), and her best friend (Colby). It was in that trip that I realized just how amazing a person Magic is, I only knew her as the partying Hellbomber, it wasn’t till that trip I learned so much about the character that makes Magic Lee Malicious who she is. Magic is a special girl to Turn 2, most importantly from her PIMP status as the only girl who pulled off the task of accompanying both Turn 2 Boys to the ‘08 banquet.
Magic is the type of girl who would give her left arm to you if she could, her ability to put so many before her is unfathomable. Turn 2 is proud to call Magic a dear friend, we have had many laughs together, unfortunately since she has brought on many extra tasks with the league we do not hear from her as much.
Rocking the Purple Horseshoe, and skating on the most feared team in the league, Magic still is a very humble person. She is proud of her accomplishments, and continues to strive for excellence on the track. Bu don’t be fooled, Magic can get as crazy as the next one; if it is not tackling people at the Garage, licking Turn 2 faces, or forcing a WC motor-boating, then it is some crazy other new stunt for the day, but that is why we love you. Enjoy your day Magic, and don’t worry, Turn 2 will find you Saturday for your birthday spankins!
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Turn 2 is happy to express our love for the Burning River Roller Girls and their success over these past 4 years.
Since my first bout Sunday April 6th 2008, I have seen this league grow in leaps and bounds; from the quaint North Olmstead Soccer Sportsplex, to the massive “Wolstein Center” right in the heart of Cleveland. I have enjoyed the view from Turn 2 as the level of game play has picked up with strong rookies stepping up, and veterans who have push themselves harder than ever before. It is amazing to look back and think how far this sport has come, I thank everyone who has poured their heart and soul into a sport that nothing short of beautiful. In the past 3 years since I first viewed a bout, I have made some incredible friendships that I deeply adore; thank you for your love, support, laughs, advice, and most importantly your dedication.
Everyone should be proud of their achievements, and contributions to the league.
HAPPY FOURTH ANNIVERSARY!!
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mor·bid - suggesting an unhealthy mental state or attitude; unwholesomely gloomy, sensitive, extreme, etc.
cher·ub - a member of the second order of angels, often represented as a beautiful rosy-cheeked child with wings.
Morbid Cherub - One of the most fierce Hellbombers, the one you do not want to meet in a dark alley way (or try to pass on the flat track). A hard shell wraps her warm heart, and her infectious laugh warms your soul. May you birthday be filled with laughs, happiness, friends, and excitement.
Happy Birthday Morbid Cherub!
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