Derby Name: Finnish-HER

Number: 96

Team(s): Hard Knockers and All-Stars

Position(s): For the Knockers usually jammer, but I’m afraid to jam for travel team. Destroya has made me jam a few times. The first time I found out I was going to jam for travel team I cried! I know, right?

How did you learn of the league?

I actually tried to join the league when they first started up in 2006. I sent an email and was told that I would receive an email back with all the info I needed to get started. I never got that email. I am kind of timid when it comes to certain things so I never emailed back. I wish I would have. A few years later, through a mutual friend, I met Candy Snatcher. She put me on the right path.

What have you been working to get better at?

Just to be a better skater overall, but if I had to focus on one thing, it would definitely have to be endurance!

How do you feel about Season 4 Hard Knockers?

I am very excited about our 2010 team! I think I speak for everyone when I say we are really sad to lose Cheddar! But on the flip side we got MILFback, and our new rookies are badass! I am so happy to be a part of this team! I love the Hard Knockers!

What has been your favorite bout so far?

For the Knockers it would have to be the last bout of 2009 vs. the Pin-Ups. If you recall the first time we played the Pin-Ups last year it was a close game. In the last jam, the Pin-Ups were ahead. I had a really good jam and was able to tie up the game for overtime. But as quickly as I was a hero, I cut the track and had to serve the first minute of overtime in the box costing us that game.  The second time we played the Pin-Ups it was the same scenario. Last jam, anyone’s game, me vs. the infamous Eva Lucien…again! It was déjà vu! I was so nervous! Luckily this time we were able to pull out a win! It’s a great feeling to be the last jammer in a game like that when your team wins! For All-Stars, regional’s! All of it!

How did it feel being ‘09 Rookie of the Year and Hard Knocker MVP?

A MAZ ING!!! As a rookie, the skater I most admired and strived to skate like was Erin. To follow in her steps and win this award was a huge honor for me! And Hard Knocker MVP! This absolutely blew me away! I accused Monster of making people vote for me out of pity. I could not believe I won this! Also a HUGE honor! I never in a million years thought as a rookie, my team would consider me their MVP! ?

Do you have any advice to this year’s fresh meat? I’m not much at giving advice. I would like to say how proud of them I am. We all are. We have a great group of girls. I’m expecting great things from them.

Turn 2 focused much heckling toward you last season, any clue as to why?

I am glad you asked. NO! I don’t know why you heckled me so badly. Care to discuss?

It was fun because it gave me great pleasure to heckle you while I was speeding past you scoring points.

Now with our new “agreement” how do you feel not being heckled might affect your skating?

Oh I still anticipate you will heckle me. We’ll have to see how that goes. If not, instead of plugging my nose at you, I blow kisses.

Do you have a
philosophy that you live by? ummmm…. I love the song “My Philosophy” by Ben Folds Five. That’s about it. I’m not very philosophical. Is that bad?

Who would you thank most for your derby success? In general I would have to say Scarrie. She gave me a lot of tough love as a freshmeat. She really pushed me to give my all and it paid off. When it comes to jamming, Monster!  She taught me how to be a smart jammer. If you watch footage from our first bout last year, then our second, it’s like a different person! That was from Monsters help. Now is the part where everyone barfs a little but I’m going there anyway. Ian (Finnish-HIM) is a HUGE supporter! He makes me love this sport even more! Seeing how excited he gets and hearing his “wolf howls” from track side! It always pushes me to skate harder! He is amazing! ? I am soooooo lucky to have someone so enthusiastic about it. He loves this sport as much as I do. Widower of the Year!!!!! Woot Woot!

What has derby done for you as an individual? Before derby I was pretty much a hermit. I never went out and I had very few friends. Derby has had a huge impact on me and the person I am. Now I have a ton of friends, an extended family, two wives (Holly and Olive WOOT!), and I always have something to do. I must say it is a rare occasion for me to be bored anymore. I have made some really amazing life long friends!

For the fans who don’t know about the “Rip it” award, care to elaborate? Let’s just say I am a very gassy girl. I’ve been known to rattle a few rooms.

When you are not playing derby, what do you do for fun? I am a little bit of a game nerd. I LOVE playing The Legend of Zelda, and Silent Hill!

What do you feel will help propel the sport of Roller Derby? I think it needs to be revealed to people as the true sport that it is! So many people still have the idea that roller derby is just a gimmick rather than a sport. I have played a recognized “sport” before and I have to tell you, the athleticism, camaraderie, strategy and skill that goes into this sport is unlike any other I know. People who have never watched a modern competitive roller derby bout are missing out on an amazing thing!

Where do you see Roller Derby in 5 years? It’s hard to say. Hopefully it will continue to grow, and get the recognition and respect it deserves.

She is not pointing at you, stop dreaming!

Ahh… Ivanna Destroya, wheres does one even begin. First off I must say I have never seen a woman take an elbow (my elbow) to the face as impressive as you! Destroya is one of the coolest people I have ever met, she is also one of the greatest skaters I have ever seen! I know that Destroya’s parents are proud, I have seen them in the crowd! When Destroya is not smashing car windows, kicking people in the nuts, spending time at the sk8intheface HQ, protesting downtown with a “Free O.J Simpson” T-Shirt on, picking her nose, creating all those sad puppy and kitty videos that make everyone cry, dreaming of being a pirate, skating, or eating dog biscuits, we are not really sure what she is doing. Anyways Turn 2 is wishing you the greatest birthday one could possible muster up!

Happy Birthday Olive Bruises!! May your day be filled with all the wonderful joys that one lil’ Hellbomber can dream up! Olive is  a Turn Two head turner; especially WC’s head, which turns side to side in a rapid succession upon Olive’s motorboat docking station! All should pay respects to Olive’s mother Effin Bruises and well respected war hero Major Bruises for their greatest achievement, Olive!

Turn 2 favorite Slaughterama Mama is celebrating the anniversary of her day of birth! We send mucho thanks out to Slaughteramama GrandMama and Slaughterama GrandPapa for their wonderful contribution to the world, to roller derby, and most importantly to The Hellbombers.

We Love You Slaughter!

Turn 2

Derby Name: The Killustrator

Number: 16

Team(s): Cleveland Steamers, Burning River All-Stars

Position(s): jammer, tail blocker

How would you compare Lehigh to BRRG?
I dunno, that’s kind of like comparing your first love and the person you wind up spending the rest of your life with.* With your first love you have sweet memories of the heady rush of infatuation, the excitement and the fights and the reconciliations, and the ultimate tearful emotional parting.  After a while time forms its capsule around those memories and you accept that it was a wonderful period in your life but one that is closed.
With love later in life, you’ve been around the block a few times and you know better what to expect.  Both you and your partner have established identities, boundaries and expectations.  The bond is steadier, less easily buffeted by winds of passion, and based on mutual respect.  Hardship does not shake the foundations of the relationship, but rather it provides an opportunity to strengthen the bond through overcoming adversity together.
*Really, honestly, how often are they the same person?

What has been your greatest accomplishment in derby?
Skating with the Hostile City Honeys (Philly Roller Girls), including their final bout as a team, was an honor.  Those ladies are my first roller derby heroes.  Travelling with the Lehigh Valley Roller Girls in June 2007 to play the New Skids on the Block in Montreal in the first international bout of the roller derby revival* was another great moment.  Montreal has really gotten around since then (honestly, it’s hard to miss them), but I can say I got to play them first and on their home turf!  Chronologically latest but not least was going to North Central Regional Tournament with the Burning River All-Stars.  It was the first time I got to see the culmination of a year’s teamwork pay off in such a grand way, and I feel privileged to have been a part of it.
*Feel free to fact-check me.  I ain’t skeered.

What team do you enjoy playing the most?
Out of our home teams, I have to say the Rolling Pinups.  They’re all a bunch of super sweet gals, they play a hard game and have a great attitude before, during and after a bout.

How did the gold Killustrator outfit come about?
The Promitard is a joke that has gotten way, way out of hand.  So I found this spandex unitard at a Salvation Army thrift store one day for a buck-fifty, and I buy it and wear it to an informal scrimmage.  It got enough laughs for me to think that I should try sewing one myself.  The gold one was made before, but debuted after the blue and navy unitard I wore at the Hazard Cup 2009.  The BRRG awards banquet rolled around and I was scratching up something to wear, and I thought to myself that I haven’t worn the gold one in public yet.  I slap some ridiculous organza and silk roses one-shoulder pouf on it to make it sufficiently “prommy”, and Bob’s your uncle, the Promitard was born.  Apparently unitards are my shtick now, which just goes to show that you shouldn’t encourage me.

What do you do when you are not playing derby?
I send emails about roller derby.  I also play World of Warcraft, work at my day job as a medical artist, love/antagonize my fiancé Josh a.k.a. Ogre, and find the occasional free moment to sew something.  Right now it’s mostly the former.

How did you come about your name?
I can’t take any credit.  My friend Paul Snyder came up with that one, as well as the runner-up name “The Lenexacutioner”.  (My hometown is Lenexa, Kansas.)

What has been your fondest derby memory so far?
The very first day I came to see a roller derby practice, one of the refs told me something useful: “Derby is like the military – you don’t have to like each other, you just have to work together.”

What first got you into roller derby?
I had no friends!  I moved to Bethlehem, Pennsylvania, for a job in October 2006 with just my dog, Jeff, and my worldly possessions.  Jeff’s a great guy but I was in need of human companionship, so I tried to put myself out there and mingle a bit.  As luck would have it, the first gal I met was a rollergirl.  I attended one practice and there was no turning back.  I had all the friends and family I could want.

Who are you inspired by?
I don’t really have heroes of the put-on-a-pedestal sort.  The people around me who I know and work with every day influence me to improve myself.  I mean, how many times do I have to get hit by Halo’s ass before I try to figure out how to avoid it?  When I see my teammates’ commitment to the sport, I’m inspired to match their dedication with my own.  To give any less would be a disservice to their efforts.

Finish the phrase: Killustrator is to the Steamers as _________ is to __________?
Killustrator : Cleveland Steamers :: peanut butter : chocolate.  Two great tastes that taste great together.

What has derby done for you as an individual?
What hasn’t derby done for me?  I’m in better physical shape than before I started playing.  I’ve learned how to work with a team, since I’d never played sports before.  It’s gotten me over a certain degree of stage fright; you can’t be scared to get out on that jam line in front of the crowd, let alone do it in a spandex unitard.  It’s familiarized me with my alcohol tolerance better than college or the years following did.  It’s made me more confident and sure of who I am as a person, and introduced me to an incredible number of amazing women who are all so very different but all equally awesome.

What has been your favorite travel team bout so far?
I hate to disappoint the BRRG fans, but it’s hard to top playing in Montreal: announcers trash-talking in French, PBR-can pyramids on turn 2, and a hockey crowd that booed you while you skated and cheered you at the after-party.  It was kind of like being a heel in professional wrestling.  The recent game in Naptown was a bit like that too, except fans in Indiana have no sense of humor.  I kind of love being booed anyway, it gives me an excuse to be a jackass.  A 9-year-old girl at the Naptown game told me I sucked afterwards.  How precious is that?

What are your 2010 goals?
To survive my fourth season playing roller derby.

What can the fans expect from 2010 Steamers compared to 2009 Steamers?
Spandex uniforms!  I kid, I kid.  But srsly, we have a lot of great things going for us.  We have a solid core of returning veterans who are motivated to continue the momentum we built up last year.  We have five amazing rookies added to the team: B. Onya Guard, Cupquake, GrrAnimal, Mosh Spice and Skinner.  Our rookies have great attitudes and an enthusiasm that’s really inspiring the rest of the team.  What can the fans expect from the Steamers this year?  More of the same: we’re still a well-rounded team that works hard and has fun and is ready to kick ass on the flat track!

What do you feel will help propel roller derby further?
Three things: a musical, inclusion in the Olympics, and roller derby in high school girls’ sports.

Who is Roller Derby?

Help your favorite league and the development of women’s flat track roller derby at the same time!

Take The Survey

Fans of modern roller derby are asked to participate in our first comprehensive online demographic survey of roller derby fans and skaters.

This survey is designed to help the WFTDA and its individual member leagues understand the modern roller derby audience.

The survey collects demographic data, basic consumer habits, and opinions about the state of the sport. It should only take a few minutes to complete.

Participating in this survey will supply valuable information to your favorite local league, as well as to the modern roller derby community as a whole.

Fans and skaters of non-WFTDA leagues are also invited to participate in this survey.

Survey participants may optionally enter a drawing to win a gift pack of WFTDA swag. Ten winners will be selected at random after the survey closes Feb. 15, 2010 and will be notified by email.

Please note: Responses are limited to one per computer (IP address). If there are multiple roller derby fans in your household who want to participate, each must take the survey from a different computer.

Sk8intheface sends many Happy Birthday shout outs to Oliver Pist on this fine day! Had it not been for that beautiful full moon, Marvin Gaye playing on the radio, Momma Pist, Poppa Pist, and a bottle of bubbly, the great world of roller derby may never have known Oliver. His ability to keep this chaotic sport of pure madness from turning into an instant Battle Royale is uncanny.  His keen eagle eyes can always spot the difference between a girl pulling a knife (minor) and shanking a player (major).  We are all thankful that the women of York Correctional Institution were just not tough enough in his eyes to continue working there. But once he saw derby, he knew he had met his calling! Happy Birthday Will! You love her pissed, and so do we!

Alright here is the scoop. For any of you whom are excited about Brew City kicking the smack out of Fart Wayne tomorrow, but do not want to drive to HillBilly-Ville (no offense Bumpin jack) Well then maybe you should think about stopping over my place, and watching the bout streamed on the flat screen!
Dexter and I will be watching this event at the Sk8intheface headquarters in Lakewood! What’s the matter, don’t know where I live? Buck up Bart…BUCK UP!! For those of you who do not know where I live you can:
A) Call me directly, if you have my number.
B) Call me via the Call Sk8intheface! Widget (must use your derby name)
C) Send an email to relewis@sk8intheface.com
D) Fuck off and hang out by yourself 

Screen shot of previous action. 

Seriously if you would like to stop on out, bring your S.O., kids, racoons, whatever! We will be there watching the game, and would love some company!

Bouts begin on Saturday, January 9 at 6:45pm Eastern

How did you hear of the league?
I heard about BRRG back when the original Myspace message was posted about a roller derby league starting in Cleveland. CoCo Sparx and I were dating at the time when she first mentioned that she wanted to join, I had mixed feelings. It sounded like a really cool way to get involved in somethings really unique and meet really cool people. At the same time, I questioned whether she was going to be able to hold up to what I had imagined roller derby to be in my head. I tagged along for the very first meeting and quickly realized that my concern stemmed from a false idea of what derby was.
For the first year and a half I was just a supportive significant other enjoying the bout, after-parties and people.

What made you want to become a referee?
From the very beginning I would have been a referee; however, between full-time college and a full-time job I didn’t have the time. It wasn’t till the very beginning of 2008 when I graduated college that I was able to begin attending practices on skates.

What skates are you currently using?
This season you’re gonna see me rolling around in a hot pair of Riedell 965s with triton plates and whatever wheels CoCo casts off prematurely by my standards.

What is your favorite thing about being a referee?
Referees have the best seat in the house. You’re right on top of everything that happens on the track. When I am not preoccupied calling penalties, I get to enjoy the legal carnage of derby from just a few feet away. When skaters take nasty falls, I feel the ground shake or hear the wind getting knocked out of them. It’s also really cool being involved in the larger organization WFTDA and getting to see the game evolve as rules changed an d teams improve. Roller Derby referees also have a lot of fun and camaraderie.

Have you ever thought about joining/starting a men’s roller derby league?
It’s crossed my mind. If enough dudes expressed interest in starting a team, that would be fun. I have scrimmaged with the girls before, which was an interesting experience. Being inexperienced at hitting and having a weight , height, or size advantage over most the girls; I was a bit hesitant to throw hard hits. At the same time, the girls were enjoying the opportunity to take easy shots on me while I was outta my element. In short, if I were to play derby I’d wanna tighten up my skating skills and be playing against dudes. We’ll have to wait to see what the future holds.

Coco Sparks… that’s taking derby wife to an extreme, care to elaborate?
Yeah, it’s an experience dating or being married to a roller girl, especially being a referee married to a skater. Since CoCo puts so much time into derby, joining derby was the only way I got to spend any time with her. A lot of people shoot me a strange look when I explain that I am a roller derby referee and a referee over my wife. Questions about conflict of interest usually follow shortly after. Honestly, CoCo and I have a really cool derby dynamic, in which we separate our on-track and off-track relationships. Usually on bout days, CoCo and I don’t speak to each other very much.

Who do you consider “your right hand” on the track?
I’d have to say it’s a tie between Scissor Lick and Ref UG. Scissor taught me everything when I first began reffing and has been a referee from the very beginning of the league. Ref UG is a great resource to have on the track because no matter how crazy/heated/unexpected things get on the track, he’s always calm and frequently provides an alternate insight.
Being a relatively young sport, WFTDA rules are an ever evolving system. Rules changes are frequently reactive in nature. As unique circumstances arise that doesn’t have clear guidance in the rules, it’s very helpful to have knowledgeable people around you sharing their thoughts when these circumstances arise.

What travel team bout have you not referee’d, that you wished you had?
All of the North Central 09 Regionals “Brawl of America”. Regional referee selection takes place quite a bit of time before the event. I missed my time to apply to be a referee, so I had to settle for being a Non Skating Official. NSOing was fun, but also teasing at the same time. Regionals is an awesome level of competition between the best ranked teams. This next year I’ll be more punctual.

What do you think about the new venue?
Wolstein Center is awesome for the entire league. Beyond providing the league a spectacular venue in which to entertain our fans, WC makes officiating even more enjoyable. Concrete floors are much faster than Sport Court or wood, so the game will be much faster than it was last year. WC also enables us to use a much more sophisticated scoreboard which is really the heart beat of the event. Referees also get an actual locker room this year, so there are more creature comforts with the new venue.

What are some of your interests outside of derby?
Outside of my professional career and derby, I really enjoy cooking and eating good food. Anybody who has had more than a couple conversations with me, should know that I am an avid fan of MMA fighting. If I hadn’t gotten involved in derby, I would have started cross training in martial arts of some sort. Other than that, I don’t have time for much else.

You seem to be obtaining a great deal more refs, what will this mean for game play?
BRRG has been blessed to have a bunch of dedicated refs come out of the woodwork this season. With 16 refs total at the time I am writing this and inquiry emails still showing up in my inbox on a regular basis, I have an embarrassment of riches. Most teams including BRRG in the past have had only a handful of refs and frequently have to borrow refs from surrounding leagues. I have so many refs, our double headers will now have a separate ref squad for each game. This allows me to use refs for NSO (stats) positions also. Referees may be the largest team on BRRG this next season, and we surely will be the best.

How do you deal with the constant “razzing” from fans and Rev. and players?
Any referee gets razzed at times, its part of the fun of sports entertainment. I knew right from the rebirth of Cleveland derby, that roller derby referees were going to get heckled more than most refs from any other sport. Pretty much anything refs do in derby besides skating in circles gets a reaction from someone, whether it be a fan, skater, or announcer leading the charge. Fans hate when we have to call an official time out to figure something out, and the announcers love to egg the crowd on with some awesome and witty comments frequently questioning our intelligence or sobriety. Skaters express their deepest and darkest feelings of hatred towards us during bouts, usually for accurately doing our “job”. And, nothing adds to the excitement more than a referee getting taken out by a skater.
Honestly though, I expected all this coming into the sport, and I think every bit of it is entertaining for me too. This last season I couldn’t really hear the crowd or announcers clearly at the center of the track because the echo was so crazy at Euclid Sports Plant. At Black and Blue 4, I noticed that the superior acoustic qualities of Wolstein Center made everything more audible from the center of the track. That being said, this next season should be more interesting and entertaining. You’ll probably see me smiling back at people not really caring what they are saying about me or my other refs.

What are your hopes for Season 4?
Season 4 is going to be awesome. I am hoping for an educational season for myself and my ref crew. No matter how experienced a referee has, there are learning experiences during every single bout. I wanna see Cleveland have a ref group with a valuable reputation in the derby world.

How do you feel about the new WFTDA 12/1/09 rules?
WFTDA is a growing association, not just in numbers but also in experience. Each rules set that comes out is more refined than the previous. Some recent changes to the rules have to do with cutting the track technicalities, which made the game a little more focused on controlled skating and overall game awareness from skaters. Unfortunately the major rules changes usually come out during the middle of the BRRG intraleague season, so we finish out the season on the original rules set. This is really interesting for me because I sometimes have to ref BRRG intraleague bouts under an old rules set, then I ref WFTDA bouts under the current (new) rules set. I long for the season when I only have to be concerned about one rules set at a time.

What was your favorite bout that you have referee’d so far?
Any bout that is competitive. It really isn’t fun to ref an old fashioned spanking.

What do you think will help propel this sport further?
I can not say it load enough, televised bouts. The idea of a “Roller Girl” or “Derby Girl” is much more mainstream and trendy now than it was three years ago. I can’t tell you how many people I have talked to that think roller derby is the coolest thing, but they haven’t seen a bout. I can tell you first hand, roller girls are cool people, but the sport they compete in is where it’s at. It is my belief that televised bouts would propel the sport to where it deserves to be. Sponsors, advertisers, and leagues would all be mutually benefited. It’s time to make the sport of roller derby mainstream.

How did you first learn about Derby?
In Dec of 2006, my dear friend called me and asked if I was interested in checking out a practice with her and another friend. My first experience watching these impressively strong women was awesome and I knew I would join right away.  We began thinking up our derby names that night and we soon became Collinwood Thunder, Gonnolea and Slaughterama Mama. Thunder and I began in season I with Lea hot on our tails in season II.

What was your favorite travel team bout?
We were still quite new when Detroit spanked us so graciously back in 2008. We learned a lot from those girls and they wiped the floor with us like true ladies. So fun!

How did you feel seeing yourself on the Sk8intheface header the first time?
I basically felt lucky to have been caught in a shot with all of the super players that are also included on the header. Every time I see it I feel humbled and flattered! It gives me the right to tell my grandma that I’m awesome.

What is the feeling of having your son and husband in the stands?
It would have been impossible for me to have ever imagined that I would receive the kind of support that I get from my “guys.” There are my biggest fans as well as my toughest critics. On top of making it to nearly every game, my son has endured countless hours of practice like a trooper.

Do you enjoy travel team bouts of interleague bouts better?
That is a tough question to answer because they are hard to compare. Travel bouts allow for the opportunity to meet fantastic skaters from all over the country as well as experience cities I may never have visited otherwise. The high level of competition brings on a healthy blend of anxiety and adrenaline all topped off by awesome hotel room shenanigans. On the other hand, I miss my family when I am away, even for just a night or two and bouts at home seem to be more fun. Here at home when we are on our turf, we get to play against our best friends and see all of the Cleveland fans. If there is one thing I have learned, Cleveland derby is like no other. Interleague wins in my book.

You have a remarkable fan base at my work, any words for your loving fans?
You sure know how to pick ‘em! Who knew I had fans!?!

What has been the worst injury that you have obtained from derby?
Are you trying to jinx me? In three seasons, the worst injury I ever received was when I jumped over the dance floor railing at the Garage bar like Daivd Lee Roth at an after party and twisted my ankle. That is what they call a “sammich” move.

What is the best part of derby in your opinion?
Learning what my body is capable of alongside of other women who are also learning what their bodies are capable of.

What has been your greatest achievement so far?
Heck, I have to say it: 3peat! Sorry, guys. Gotta gloat…

What are your 2010 derby goals?
I am looking forward to getting back on skates as soon as possible. This season I am going to be a Bench-bomber. Steve and I are expecting! There will be a little Slaughter in late July.

What skates are you currently using?
Minx 965s. They took a while to break in but I like ‘em.

Who do you miss that no longer skates for the league?
Obviously Collinwood Thunder and the Bombers we have lost along the way (Twiste’r, Deliliah…) But also skaters from season I such as Skellawhore, She-Rages and LaLa…

What are your thoughts in regards to the growth of this sport since you first started?
Who knew there would be “Talk derby to me” tee shirts at Spencer’s?!?

What hobbies do you have other than derby?
As if there was time for anything else! I am a graduate student planning to finish in May, and a mom/stepmom. The husband and I are remodeling our house, I guess that counts. I like snuggling with my dogs and dreaming about I will do with all of my spare time once I graduate.

What has derby done for you as an individual?
I try not to get emotional when I discuss the enormous impact that derby has made on me personally. Believe it or not, I was quite shy and reserved in my past life. I had never played sports and basically stuck to things I was already good at like reading and loafing. This sport and these girls helped me learn to push myself and I saw results that I could never have dreamed of. If I can line up on that pivot line in front of all those people and go head to head with the amazing athletes that I skate with, I know that I can do anything. Aside from motherhood, becoming a part of BRRG has been the single most life changing event I have ever experienced because of the confidence I have gained.