Archive for April, 2010
Any individuals who were fortunate enough to read the Hellbombers discussion page, on their Facebook profile were delighted to see this song below:
Mum mum mum mah
Mum mum mum mah
I wanna hold em’ like they do in Derby plays
Hold em’ let em’ hit me block it baby stay with me (I love it)
Skill and intuition play the game with Ace to start
And after she’s been hooked I’ll play the one that’s on her heart
Oh, oh, oh, oh, ohhhh, ohh-oh-e-ohh-oh-oh
I’ll get her hot, show her what I’ve got
Oh, oh, oh, oh, ohhhh, ohh-oh-e-ohh-oh-oh,
I’ll get her hot, show her what I’ve got
Can’t read my,
Can’t read my
No she can’t read my Stroker face
(She’s got to love nobody)
Can’t read my
Can’t read my
No she can’t read my Stroker face
(She’s got to love nobody)
S-s-s-stroker face, s-s-stroker face
(Mum mum mum mah)
S-s-s-stroker face, s-s-stroker face
(Mum mum mum mah)
I wanna roll with her a hard pair we will be
A little blocking is fun when you’re with me (I love it)
Defensive jamming is not the same without you hun
And baby when it’s derby if it’s not rough it isn’t fun, fun
Oh, oh, oh, oh, ohhhh, ohh-oh-e-ohh-oh-oh
I’ll get her hot, show her what I’ve got
Oh, oh, oh, oh, ohhhh, ohh-oh-e-ohh-oh-oh,
I’ll get her hot, show her what I’ve got
Can’t read my,
Can’t read my
No she can’t read my Stroker face
(She’s got to love nobody)
Can’t read my
Can’t read my
No she can’t read my Stroker face
(She’s got to love nobody)
S-s-s-stroker face, s-s-stroker face
(Mum mum mum mah)
S-s-s-stroker face, s-s-stroker face
(Mum mum mum mah)
I won’t tell you that I love you
Kiss or hug you
Cause I’m hittin’ with my kitten
I’m not lying I’m just a wonder’ with my sweet red thunder
Just like a chick in derby finals
Take your points before I hit you out
I promise this, promise this
Check this jam cause I’m marvelous
Can’t read my,
Can’t read my
No he can’t read my Stroker face
(She’s got to love nobody)
Can’t read my
Can’t read my
No she can’t read my Stroker face
(She’s got to love nobody)
Can’t read my,
Can’t read my
No she can’t read my Stroker face
(She’s got to love nobody)
Can’t read my
Can’t read my
No she can’t read my Stroker face
(She’s got to love nobody)
Can’t read my,
Can’t read my
Nos he can’t read my Stroker face
(She’s got to love nobody)
Can’t read my
Can’t read my
No she can’t read my Stroker face
(She’s got to love nobody)
S-s-s-stroker face, s-s-stroker face
(Mum mum mum mah)
S-s-s-stroker face, s-s-stroker face
(Mum mum mum mah)
S-s-s-stroker face, s-s-stroker face
(Mum mum mum mah)
S-s-s-stroker face, s-s-stroker face
(Mum mum mum mah)
S-s-s-stroker face, s-s-stroker face
(Mum mum mum mah)
S-s-s-stroker face, s-s-stroker face
(Mum mum mum mah)
4 Comments »
By Magic Lee Malicious
I knew about the league when it was forming and I wanted to join. At the time, I was dating a guy who thought derby was “weird” and convinced me not to join. I wish I could bump into that guy today and kick him with my skates on. Skip forward a year and a half and life brings me a new job and Pain Austen. She convinced me to join BRRG.
My first year of derby was the hardest. I had so much to learn and all my free time managed to be consumed by derby. I compare it to joining a cult, but fellow skaters always cringe when I say that. A few times during the first season I thought to myself, ‘what the hell am I doing? I am 33, I haven’t played sports in 16 years, and now I am doing something that could break my legs.’
Second year was a tad easier – at least the skating part. I volunteered for Bout Production and learned it was possible for derby to take up even more of your life. Juggling a job, a dog, a house, practices, and making sure every bout went on without a noticeable hitch, was stressful. I learned something very important that season: You can’t please everyone.
Now in my third season, derby has taken a whole new role. As a skater, I rack my brain on strategy and improving my footwork. As president, I spend countless hours on derby – answering emails, meetings, phone calls, paperwork. I work hard to be supportive of other board members as I know what a tough job we all have. Being president is a mentally and emotionally exhausting job. I volunteered because I wanted to help BRRG succeed. I can only hope that is my legacy.
So after all of this, what does derby mean to me? It means pushing myself in ways I normally wouldn’t – like shaking my fear of performing in front of a crowd, making myself skate or workout when I’d rather be home reading a book. It means accepting that I can’t please everyone and all I can do is my best. It means taking constructive criticism and accepting it for what it is. It means letting negativity roll off my back, which is never easy. It means making lifelong friends and being a true friend. It means building someone up when it would be easier to knock them down. Mostly, it means working every day to be a better president, skater, teammate, league-mate, and person. Sometimes I fall down and thankfully many of my fellow skaters have been there to pick me up.
5 Comments »
Happy Birthday to the one and only Killustrator!
Killy came on the scene last year, as a much needed addition to the Steamers! She was just want the Steamers needed, a powerful jammer who can play all positions on the track very well. From last years rookie to this years Captain; Killy has been helping power the SS Steamy through some amazing times, from a team two years prior last place, to last years second place (were number two), and with one of the most impressive comebacks in BRRG history with bout two’s performance over the Pinups. From blue Unitards to Gold Promitards, there is no saying what is next up Killy’s sleeves. From the speed of a cheetah, and the heart of a champion, The Turn Two Boys cant help but love the Killustrator. May your day be filled with joy and laughter!
3 Comments »
Where to start – what to say…
Bout 1 (Hellbombers v. Hard Knockers) was quite exciting for me for the first half. Kinda slow, but the bombers were actually down at the half. I couldn’t believe what I was seeing. Of course, that was all about to change. Whatever the bombers talk about at halftime works because it’s clear they come out with a new strategy, execute it and subsequently dominate. ‘Nuff said – bombers won.
Bout 2 (Rolling Pinups v. Cleveland Steamers) – Best Roller Derby Bout I Have Ever Seen!!! Starting out, the Pinups took the early lead and after taking the lead never trailed. It was a good bout and well battled on each side. And then we got to about 4 minutes left and the tides turned. Steamers stepped up the game pretty hardcore. Pinups had a few key mistakes that landed their people in the box and Steamers capitalized. 30 points in the final two jams of the bout took us to a tied score and overtime. I’ve seen overtime before, and nothing seems to have a bigger impact to the intensity and the crowd getting wild. I couldn’t believe what I was seeing. Overtime was coming to an end and the score was about to be tied again! Had there been about two or three more seconds on the clock, it likely would have ended right there, but there wasn’t and for the first time in BRRG history, we were headed to Double-Overtime! With the most intense game on the line, the teams took the track. Both jammers did an exceptional job, but in the end, it was The Steamers, led by team captain The Killustrator that came out on top with a 9 – 8 point jam, giving the Steamers the victory. I don’t know about you, but the energy I felt coming from the track and the energy I felt in the crowd was simply amazing. Well done ladies!
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OK this was quite the game, I was really impressed with the level of competition displayed during this bout. The Hard Knockers started off incredibly aggressive. One of the first notable highlights was watching the Ida Bitter try slamming into Knoxious Mallory with an incredible amount of force, and Knoxious did not budge! The second noteworthy moment was Check Republic jamming for the first time, and doing well! It made me extremely happy to see the bout stay so close into the half. The Bombers struggled against the Knockers defense, who constantly held firm walls on Jammers, and worked well creating holes for their own Jammers. Vendetta Farfalle jamming for the Knockers was an unexpected event which worked well for the Knockers as well. At the end of the half Knockers were up by 7, with the score 30 – 23.
However, the second half was completely owned by the Hellbombers. Forcing Knockers into the box, and being able to nickle and dime their way up the score board. It never ceases to amaze me how well their jammers control the board, whether it is, holding jammers to run down clock (CoCo) or just brutally beating their jammers to a pulp (Bitter). And what a beating Skank Williams took out there, that night. If I were you, and Ida Bitter was my landlord, I would pull an “Upper Decker” in the near future on her. The Bombers only allowed the Knockers to score 10 points in the second half. The biggest moment of this game was owned by the beautiful and talented CoCo Sparx, who came off the track as lead Jammer to slap hands with the Turn Two Boys, IMPRESSIVE! She’s the Roller Derby version of Gina Davis in “A League of their Own” minus the Ginger characteristics! In the end, the Hellbombers scratch another notch on their belt (that’s a lot of notches) and took home the victory. Final score 40 – 85 Hellbombers.
Intermission show, Rocking Robots, I freaking love these guys. I loved them when I first saw them back at opening day 2008, and I loved them for this bout too. They are very entertaining, they do a hell of a show, and make it extremely fun for all. I not a big fan of that butter-face song by Lady GaGa, but they made me dancing kinda like it!I think I lost my voice yelling for the robots! Also, went upstairs to the fan booth to pass out a couple hugs and said hi to a few friends. It is pretty crazy because the last person I spoke with was the “Burrito Sheriff” Morbid Cherub. I asked her why she didn’t jam (everyone should know by now that I yell it every game), she expressed to me that she didn’t feel comfortable jamming because she didn’t feel they had that strong of a lead. To paraphrase: “I just didn’t feel like we were that far ahead, if you were to put me up against someone like Monster, she could potentially pull 20 points down on that jam, then we would be in a situation”….. Which brings me to the next bout.
Now I tell you, I said I expected this bout to be murderous, but never in my lifetime could I have ever envisioned such an amazing bout! You can’t script something that incredible… Sports Time Ohio, eat your heart out!
It is really hard for me to blog about this bout because it was absolutely incredible, I am pretty sure I peed myself a little bit from all the excitement. Both teams played really well, but the Pinups just kept getting the upper hand in the exchange. The Pinups manage to control the front of the pack for much of the first half, fantastic blocking by Vix Smackey and Candy Snatcher, was a key element in ensuring Punk’d Pixie carried over that momentum that she had in the first bout this year. Slambassador (whose birthday it was, Happy Birthday Slammy) also, did some incredible jamming herself. In a change of pace, Killy and Booty two jamming powerhouses, failed to rack up a lot of points in the first half; however, they did a great job of keeping 0 point jams when not lead jammer. With the Pinups going into the half with nice lead, things looked well for the Pinups.
I would like to note that I really liked the halftime interview ideas, that was a very intelligent move. Interview of the night goes to Margarita Mayhem; well thought, well presented, and very cordial, great job Mayhem.
After halftime it was really more of the same, Pinups just slightly one upping the Steamers. But the Steamers kept fighting, Killy started to really let loose out there on the track and score some points, Cupquake is definitely making a name for herself out there as well. Two jams from victory, the Pinups with a 30 point lead, the Pinups made a decision that will forever be ingrained into their heads. It is not uncommon to prime a rookie for a jammer position while you have a comfortable lead. The Bombers have been doing it the past two games with Eduskater. However, when sending a rookie out on the track you have to have a strong pack. Once Chatter hit the penalty box things went haywire, also not helping the equation were two Pinups rookies getting thrown into the box for blatant 20 foot penalties. Back to back 15 point jams, and this bout is sent into overtime! Had that jam lasted two more seconds, Killy would have passed a blocker way in the back, for a 16 point jam! The venue was freaking out, Steamers fans were out of their seats awaiting this moment the entire game, Pinups fans were still gasping for air from what had occurred. I was flabbergasted (I don’t even use words like that), I could not believe what had just occurred. 1st Overtime jam, more pandemonium as the pack looked more like a parade, people were everywhere, both jammers were scrambling for every point they could, and managed to keep the game tied. Double overtime, Professor Booty vs The Killustrator, both packs are stacked with veterans, this is it. As the jam took place The Killustrator came out of the pack first, Booty grabs her third minor, shortly after then gets a fourth minor and is sent to the box. As the jam took place Killy came out of the pack first, Boots grabs her third minor, then gets a fourth minor and is sent to the box. Killy snags a point for the win! Killy falls to the ground in front of Turn 2 overwhelmed with joy and exhaustion….. now that is fucking some shit up  ! Steamers in the craziest comeback ever, steam their way to victory 86-85.
Though I heard the typical complaints from skaters on how bad the refs were, I disagree. This bout was one of the better ref’ed games I have ever seen, of course you are never going to be able to catch everything (that is the joy of derby), but I felt this was a vast improvement from the last bout. I felt that the Jammer refs were great, Scissor Lick is not intimidated by anyone (Good try Monster), Pist as a jammer ref was a fantastic call. And the organization by the outside track refs this game was much needed! Great job refs, no complaints from Turn Two!
6 Comments »
Here we go again, second bout of the 2010 Season, man I could not be more excited. Here’s where we stand after the first bout. Hellbombers off to their regular 1-0 start with a win over the Steamers 0-1. The Pinups coming from last place last year to this year with a win in their first bout, and what a bout it was. The whole venue was electrified in the second half when the Pinups mounted an out of no-where comeback from the damage delivered in the first half by the Knockers. In the end the Pinups 1-0 pulled out the win over the Knockers 0-1 who fought tooth and nail to keep that early lead.
HellBombers vs Hard Knockers
If life was not tough enough for Knockers and Knockers fans last month, tomorrow is sure to fulfill that void. But the Knockers are fighters, if you think they are walking into this bout thinking about anything but victory, you are sadly mistaken (note to this day the Knockers are the only team who has defeated the Bombers, and they did it twice). For what ever reason the Knockers level of game-play always steps up against the Bombers; I am not sure why this is, but just wait and see. Skank Williams is like a freaking Ninja at scoring points, very cunning, its like you never see it happen. Finnish-Her played one of her best games ever last bout, punishing the Pinups, pulling lead jammer 5 out of the 8 times she jammed. Scarrie put quite a few points as a jammer but played some serious defense as a pivot. Monster seemed to have an off day last bout, but if she is on for this bout… look out. The biggest thing the Knockers need to do is keep their aces in their places, pay close attention which packs are consistently working wewll together, and keep high profile jammers (Bitter and Stroker) off the track as much as possible.
Now I don’t know how the Bombers do it each year but they mange to take rookies and turn them into vicious killers! Eduskater racked up 29 points in her debut, this is serious work! The Bombers keep their decked stacked, never is their a jam where there is not an All-Star on the track (and at times there is 2 or 3). Just ask T-O what it is like to blast through the pack, only to get laid out by an All-Star (or ex All-Star) pivot. This is what makes the Bombers who they are, the level of competition on that team drives each individual to excellence. If you want what they got, you got to do what they do. Don’t get me wrong, they still have holes, if you are good you can find your way through their pack fairly well, however if you do not pay attention to the the veterans, its a bumpy ride.
Cleveland Steamers vs Rolling Pin Ups
Now this is the game that I am ready for, this bout has the makings of a murderous night written all over it.
The Steamers are a solid team, I noted to WC last bout how the Steamers look larger overall, from 2008 the Steamers just seemed like tiny lil girls with a couple power houses (Stealth, X, Dita, and Halo) this year I see a much more solid team, even people like Slammy (my bad Hi-5) have picked up muscle mass, and are much harder to push around. Their jammers have tenacity like I have never seen, if you give them an inch, they will take a mile (and a crap load of points too) However, Take-Out will not be skating this night, she will be living the high life sitting with the Turn 2 Boys (it is an experience like no other). Halochic, you are a human wrecking ball, you are like a destructive bouncy ball that got placed into a pinball machine just for the sake of carnage. I am excited to see the outcome of this bout, its up for grabs, who wants it most. A big boost to the Steamers Ego will arrive in the form of Pain Austen, Damnasty International, and Primp Daddy, three incredibly talented Old Skool Steamers, who will be here to cheer on old and new Steam-mates, if your smart you will listen for their help on the track!
Watching the Pinups in the first half of their last bout, I was very worried. I saw blockers not looking backwards, noticing the jammer too late, and just getting rolled over. After the second half, the blockers were back to what I had anticipated them to be, insanely aggressive, extremely intelligent, and able to communicate with one another on the track. The jammers looked extremely impressive, especially Punk’d Pixie scoring a whopping 25 points! Hidden Ajenda is another strong contender for Rookie of the year, with both great jamming and strong blocking. Still, I expected more from certain Pinups, maybe they will impress me this bout. Pinups you will need to keep your ears open for what Shocker and Eva are throwing out, those two being able to view the whole playing field makes for a huge advantage. Pinups rookies – extra pressure rests on your shoulders, be sure you are paying close attention out there, especially when the pact gets chaotic. You guys know what you need to do out there, now you just have to do it.
I really hope to see some fireworks out on the track tomorrow. Both games will be very cut-throat, very gritty. Honestly, I think every rookie should at least get one minor, to let me know you are here to put in work! Good luck to everyone, be safe, play hard, and get that victory!
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