All I have to say is “WOW” I was surprised! I want to start off with my thoughts on the new venue. I was amazed at how many people were in the venue, that was insane (total count anyone?)! I have not been at the sports plant in such a long time, and there was not half as many people then, as I saw for this bout. Inside I was so enthralled by everything going on around me, I never saw the merch table. I was surprised that I never noticed it, I even looked glanced around for it once as well. I did like the program idea, concept, price, everything, that was a wonderful idea! Though I had heard of someone saying that they paid 5 bucks for a program? I also did notice a typo in the word “procedure” on page 6; though being on the Bulletin Board was hysterical!
However, one disappointment was the the intermission, last year’s crazy robot people performance to this year’s random kids hula-hooping. Honestly, even turtle racing would have been a stronger intermission. One thing Turn 2 enjoys is a good Dog for the bouts; this is hopefully something that will happen in the future, we had to switch to pizza. I was happy to hear of a great section reservation for us. And even more exciting was to have about 90% of The Hellbombers sitting with us during the first bout! How can we not love the Bombers?
I did notice the Sport court definitely  made the first bout seem slower than the pace I am used to. But after seeing Ida Bitter   Jam, “Damn that Girl has some speed”! I had also heard that speed was causing girls to slide, I have heard that rolling your wheels in comet could help that (though I am not sure of ill effects).

Now onto the bouts.

In the first bout where the Cleveland Steamers challenged the Hard Knockers, we had a bout of old skool vs. the new skool. Cleveland Steamers were deemed the underdogs due to the massive amount of veterans on the Hard Knockers. I was amazed at this new steam brewing from the bench! Killustrator, who has already made the travel team, seems to be a vicious force to be reckoned with. Take-Out making a huge name for herself, played extremely well. Though Take-Out made some funny mistakes on the track (you are not lead jammer!), I feel she has the attributes to be 2009 Rookie of the Year. I am pretty sure that every Hard Knocker felt the wrath of Halochic, gunning through the pack, smashing everyone in sight, surely she is going for hardest hitter 09′!  One of the craziest moments in the bout was when Rogue Cheddar got owned; after she fell she made almost every other person in the jam tumble as well! With the last Jam of the night approaching, The Steamers were holding what could be considered a comfortable 16 point lead. Rogue Cheddar stepped to the Jammer line and made the the whole Venue see why she was 2008 most feared, in the final two minute Jam she manage to pull a 14-0 Jam which frightened ever Cleveland Steamer as the the scoreboard kept chipping away at their lead. When the score board stopped just shy of a hard knocker win, the Steamers screamed with joy. Their new steam powered formula, smells like a winner.
In the second bout, The Pinups had the unfortunate date with the Hellbombers. In true Hellbomber tradtion the pinups were left battered and bruised, while the hellbombers tacked another notch on their belt. To the credit of the the pinups, these girls are skating with the least amount of skaters. Two skaters quit the league after the draft (painful), and they have three skaters on their injured list; Soul Eater (travel team member), Dagney Taghurt (travel team member), and Instaskater. This left the pinups with just ten skaters to take on the fifteeen hellbombers! Even with the odds stacked against the pinups, no one expected the bout to be a complete blow out. The hellbombers are such a solid team, even their rookies looked good! The pinups were forced to spread their team out so thin, I would rather seen the Pinups stack the deck every other Jam. Yes this would have really put a large strain on thier rookies, though I think it could help them accell later down the road (Sink or Swim). As sad as it was to see such a beating, you really got to see the skill set that the Bombers have attained. I also have heard from numerous people how they have instantly became Pinups fans, just for not giving up and love of an underdog (this is Cleveland)!

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cleveland.com

I wish I could knock Kelly Collins to the ground. Not that I have anything against her; she seems pleasant and all.

But I am a little jealous.

It’s taken her 10 months to do what I’ve failed at my entire life: Roller skating.

Collins, you see, is a member of the Rolling Pin-Ups, one of four teams in the Burning River Roller Girls. The roller derby league opens Season Three at 5 p.m. Saturday at Euclid Sports Plant, 20001 Euclid Avenue, Euclid.

Collins — you might know her by the nom de guerre Margarita Mayhem — is already a grizzled veteran, entering her second season as a blocker for the Pin-Ups.

She has the bruises and sprains and prove it.

Read the full article HERE

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Excitement and anticipation as we approach opening day! After all the waiting, the 2009 Season is just around the corner. Season 3 is stacked to be an explosive year! Major dynamic changes to the 3 teams gunning for Hellbomber’s Season 2 Hazard Cup.
The Cleveland Steamers seem to be a completely re-vamped team. with Primp behind the wheel, and new sensation Killustrator as a major asset; it will be interesting to see how this team progresses this year. Can Rainbow Fright skate as well as she can sing, will Take out Chuck Norris the competition? Hopefully, returning Vets like Halo and Slammy have been able to impart their wisdom. Could last year’s last place be this year’s Champions?

The Rolling Pin-Ups also have an impressive flock of killers on skates. Last year’s MVP Jammer Eva Lucien and MVP blocker Professor Booty, team up to take a shot at the Hazard Cup. I expect this years Homicidal Homemaker’s to create havoc this year. Punk’d Pixie strutted her stuff for the Xanadont’s  in Fort Wayne, backed by Margarita Mayhem’s blocking prowess all teams should look out when these ladies take to the line.
The Hard Knockers have lost Cherry Venom, but Concrete Blondie looking to fill her shoes. The Hard Knockers have always been Jammer heavy, and this year is no different. With “Most Feared”, “Hardest Hitter” Rogue Cheddar looking to keep her titles this season; I really look forward to what their rookies will add in terms of blocking. Can Monster and Scarrie push this team to victory?
The HellBombers have a saying “if it ain’t broke, it never met a Hellbomber”! This squad of destruction is the epitome of what teamwork can accomplish. Losing the least amount of players last year and holding the most Travel Team players (again), everyone should look out! Anytime you see two of their TT players in a jam together; remember to waive goodbye to your Mom in the stands, it might just be your last jam! Triple Threat Stroker Ace and MVP Pivot Ivanna Destroya have honed their skill to near perfection. Don’t expect these girls to just hand over their Hazard Cup, you are going to have to fight them for it!
Good luck to every skater on the track Saturday! Extra good luck wishes to all the skaters we have come to know and love! Be safe, be vicious, but most of all be victorious!

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Derby Name: Halochic
Number: 45
Team(s): Cleveland Steamers
Position(s): Blocker, Pivot, rare occasional jammer

What was the inspiration behind your name? It was a mash-up suggested by AOL for a screen name

How long have you been in the league? 3 years, since day 1

How did you learn of the league? a friend told me and took me to the first meeting

What has been your favorite derby bout? where we beat the Pinups last season

Who is your arch enemy on the track? hmmm….I don’t have one- you’ll have to ask them. LOL

You’ve seen a lot of people come and go from the Steamer’s how are you feeling about your current squad? It’s always rough to have a team full of new people, but we have a new fabulous captain this year and she has made numerous training drills to help us train our newbies. I feel confident in our new team and new skills.

Blocker’s seem to not be in the lime-light, does this bother you? In my eyes, blockers are the lime light. Blockers have the big take outs-blockers are the most feared-I like being a blocker

You were nominated for two awards last year, what are your 2009 goals? Be most feared first of all. Then be hardest hitter-then beat the Knockers

What are your thoughts on this years’ venue change? anything that saves our league money and has pluses for our fans-more parking, bigger and so forth – are a good thing in my book

What is your worst injury from derby? I twisted my ankle at travel team practice. It put me out for a few weeks, took me off the Roster for Naptown, and I had to wear an ankle brace for a few months

The travel team has a tough schedule this year, how do you feel about that? I don’t think our schedule was tough. Perhaps the teams we played were tough. I want to play more away games!! and more home travel team games as well!

Besides derby what do you do for fun? hang out with friends at the bar, play Xbox 360, bowl

You are in sk8intheface’s header graphic, what were your thought when you first saw that? I thought it was only me and then saw other people were in the photo- it was cool to be in the lime light though

What are your thoughts on the Turn Two Boys? who wouldn’t want super sexy hardcore fans? anybody that travels to see us rocks ass in my book!!

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Turn 2 decided to show up to the Expo to get our derby fix. The expo consisted of a 12-13 jam exhibition bout, which was well worth the trip down. We rented some skates, crashed into each other a couple times, and laughed our heads off skating around. We noticed that Finnish-Her had showed up to the bout, she saw us, but didn’t have the nuts to say hi (be brave fresh meat).

We spent some time chatting with Chrissie B. Hynde; she spoke of the great honor and incredible time she had, skating with the Xanadont’s in Fort Wayne. She also noted that she enjoyed watching Punk’d Pixie skate, and said she did really well. Shortly after we had a ordeal at the rink that made me feel like I was being treated like cattle (something I will not tolerate), so after quite the argument with a couple guys, they realized quickly to just leave me alone.

Finally we got some derby on; of course we sat turn two (no collisions though), and decided we would root for the black team. Both Chrissie and Teeny were on black so it was appropriate. I surprised to see so many girls (roughly 25 skaters), they are forming quite the league down there. Both teams played very well; though they did get gassed quicker than I would have like to see. There were a few times where jammers were unsure of who was lead jammer, and just lacking a strategical game play. But damn, we got to see some great crashes, heavy hits, and loud flops! For a league of this size, I was very impressed. Scarlet GoDancin did a great job as ref, and really seemed to keep the teams, in line and focused. Of course Turn 2 was correct when choosing the black team, they took the lead and never looked back.The bout ended with a score of 39 to 51.

The bruise of the night goes to “Pepper Insult” for the nasty bruise high on the thigh! And for the love of showing it off! Thank you North East Ohio Rock’n Roller Girls for a great night.

Bruise of the Night!

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Derby Name: Mommy’s Little Monster
Number: 138
Team(s): Hard Knockers and BRRG All-Stars
Position(s): Any and all.

How did you learn of roller derby?
I know Scarlett Fury from OHRG. I saw her at a show one night and she was wearing a derby shirt. She told me I had to join and it would be life changing.

Why do you play roller derby?
It is so rewarding. Both from a competitive aspect and a camaraderie aspect.

If you could steal another player from BRRG to put on the Knockers, who would you pick and why?
That’s tough…I’m going to say Primp. She is amazingly dedicated and motivated. I think it might be contagious.

What is your favorite food?
Depends on my mood, chocolate, cheeseburgers, or General Tso.

What are your 2009 derby goals?
First I plan to rehab my injured knee. Then I would really like to be good enough to be nominated for a skating related award.

Has derby changed you personally?
Absolutely…I was overweight, under stimulated, and old. Now I am none of the above!

What has been your greatest derby moment?
Probably our first bout, Maiden Massacre. It was so awesome to see everything we worked for finally come to fruition.

What would you say to a girl, who might be on the fence about becoming a roller girl? Do it!!!

Besides roller derby, what other physical activities do you participate in? Hiking and walking mostly.

You lost quite a few good skaters in 2008, how do you feel about the 2009 Season?
I feel great. It’s time to pass the torch. I see vast improvement in a lot of our skaters that were inexperienced last year.

Besides roller derby, what other physical activities do you participate in?
What is your favorite song, and why?
Right now, the “give me back my fillet-o-fish” song from the McDonald’s commercial.

What is your favorite movie, and why?
I don’t really have a favorite…

How do you balance your personal life, and roller derby?
It’s definitely a challenge, especially being captain. I try my best to be organized. Thrash-her has been great this year assisting me with some of the clerical stuff.

Chocolate or Vanilla?
Chocolate unless it’s a milkshake, then I like vanilla.

Who do you look up to, or has had a significant impact on your life (outside of roller derby)?
My mom and dad. They freaking rock.

How long do you plan to stay with the league?
Until I burn up or they kick me out.

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I have had enough, I can’t wait any longer to see some derby. March 28th has taken too long to arrive. Fortunately, I have found that NRRG is holding a Roller Derby Expo on Friday. This is perfect; great price ($10 includes skate rental), good people, and not too far away (i.e. not in Canada, boy that WC is a quick one). This will give us the perfect opportunity to get our heckling skills back up to par. WC can tell Teeny Houdini how fond he is of her, and I just get to do some major shit talking! Too bad we do not have the Xanadont’s stopping down to unleash a brutal beating like the last time!

It apears there will be an open skate session, that will be fun. I will have to show my skating prowess; Magic, Bitter, and Pain can tell you how amazing I am! Any of the girls that we have come to know and love are welcome to tag along!

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