Get your asses up to the Thermadore tonight! wish Pain the best and buy her a shot! I will be in Albuquerque New Mexico, so I doubt I will be there.

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I thought to myself the other day why does roller derby always skate counter-clockwise. Upon this, I began realizing that this follows an ongoing anomaly in counter-clockwise events. For instance: track and field races, horse races, dog races, NASCAR races, Olympic speed skating, normal flow of roller skating and ice skating rinks, baseball, normal flow of hula hooping, and revolving doors, carousels, etc. all move in a counter clock-wise fashion. Why not clock-wise? Is there some indication as to why? I must know; I learned at a very young age from G.I. Joe that knowing is half the battle. I did a Google search only to find a half dozen other jackasses like myself have pondered this same question, no one really had a good answer. Answers vary from Right-handed vs. left-handed, Coriolis Effect, because I said so (my mom’s favorite answer), to Ancient Rome excuses, anybody got any better ones?

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What a great time this was! I decided to make one of my favorite appetizer Bacon Wrapped Water Chestnuts. I ended up making 180 of those little bastards; I think they were all gone in about an hour! It is always good to see everyone. For the first few hours, I jumped around saying hi to so many people whom I’ve come to love, I could not believe how fast the time had went! But down to business; the whole reason we were there was to announce the results of the draft! The fresh meat was brought to the center floor with their mustaches looking better than anything I could ever grow(and I’m almost 30)! So basically the draft went down this:

Cleveland Steamers:

Killustrator (transfer skater from Leheigh Valley, also now on the All-Star team)

Electra Mayhem (transfer skater from Green Mountain Derby Dames in Vermont)

Take-out

Bamm B Hunt-her

Holly Huntress

Rainbow Fright

Death Proof

Rolling Pin-Ups:

Paddie Whacked

Lebrawl James

X-TRON-X

Hard Knockers:

Syren Van Dahl

Finnish-Her

Sergeant Fractal

Gorgon Girl

HellBombers:

Chelle Shock

Olive Bruises

Buggie Smalls

Delilah Dartmount

Of course the biggest draft announcement was Professor Booty, who was a free agent is now a member of the Rolling Pin-Ups! This is huge for the Pin-Ups, this puts them in a postion where the 2009 Hazard Cup is in they’re reach.  Another huge announcement was the tragic loss of the Steamer’s Pain Austen, who is going to be dearly missed. Pain Austen “The Mayor of Painesville” has went “ALL IN” in a game of “No Limit D.C. Hold em” and we’re hoping she has a full house “Queens over Aces”; we love you to death Pain!

So after the tears, hugs, and smack talking (mostly by me). The party ended with some beach ball hacky sack. I was glad to get to see everyone, hear how people are feeling about the ’09 season, and just get to talk derby with everyone! Thanks for a wonderful evening!

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The trip out to Fort Wayne was not an easy one; cars were off the road in ditches, semi’s jack-knifed, and every weather station telling us not to travel. But, in the harshest of environments, members of the BRRG braved the elements and traveled to Fort Wayne Indiana.

First up the Xanadont’s with secret new weapons known as The Killustrator and Chrissie B. Hynde; came out with a strong effort but finished just shy of a win. Punk’d Pixie, Margarita Mayhem, and Vix Smackey showed an intense preview of what the ’09 season is going to look like (look out everyone, Pin-ups are contenders for the Cup). The Xanadont’s played well, but allowed fundamental mistakes to occur, fouls to hurt them, and fatigue to play a factor. It came to the last jam, but with a large crowd pumping the S.W.A.T. Team, the Xanadont’s were unable to come out on top.

I learned a lot sitting between Magic Lee Malicious and Quarter boy (GRRG) about personal styles and where working as a team is needed. I also learned a lot about inexperienced referees, and bad calls. I thank you both for your knowledge and friendship.

Now onto the All-Star Rematch; Burning River steps onto Fort Wayne turf missing a few key elements. One- The Validator: a major factor who scored many points in our first encounter with the Bomb Squad. Two- Slaughterama Mama: an incredible blocker who seems to gain energy when most others begin to feel fatigue. And three- Pain Austen: who yes did not play but has an expertise in observation when play a dirty team like the bomb squad. And yes I said Dirty! I know accidents happen and mistakes get made, refs do not see everything, but something’s you just cannot turn a blind eye to. I also understand that there will always be biased referees, and dirty skaters; and that will never change.

It was a treat to see you girls playing like a team out there! I did not see what I have seen in previous bouts; huge talent with no communication, every girl out there trying to get hers. A saw a major group effort and every girl knowing her role on the track. We had a rough start, with our first three jams, only scoring two points. But we started playing with good strategy and started nickel and dime jams. Then in a reverse of roles we started putting up major points and shutting down there jammer. By the end of the second half it was a one point game.

Unfortunately, it was becoming extremely apparent the referees from Fort Wayne had total disregard for WFTDA rules, especially when it came to fouls committed by their own players. I could go off on an hour tangent, about dozens of instances where I saw blatant fouls (by the bomb squad) with no call, or no foul or legal move being called as fouls (by BRRG). I believe this hurt the team in a way where we lost focus of the game; having to spend time and energy showing referees the fouls, and paying back the one who fouled, this is where there Jammer was able to break through the pack quick and leave our jammer fighting to get through. But in reality this is a situation we knew we were getting into, before we walked in the arena. Even speaking with members of GRRG I heard of dirty players in the bomb squad. We needed to be able to beat this team despite these hindrances. But when I look back at this bout, the team work that I saw out of the All-Stars, the moments where we every player on the track was just playing the game with such skill, technique and grace; for that I account the victory despite the score. This bout was a heck of a learning experience for me and I am sure many times over for the skaters.

Big ups go out to Slambassador for winning best blocker during the first bout; and Halochic during the All-Star bout. I must say special thank you to both Ivanna Destroya and Professor Booty for being concerned with my well being on my trip back (I made it safe!). Mad props to Gonnolea, just cuz she freakin rules! And last but not least Magic Lee Malicious for all her wonderful company and conversation there and back!

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Burning River All Stars vs. Fort Wayne Bomb Squad

BRRG’s Xanadont’s vs. FWDG’s S.W.A.T. Team
Alright Girls, this one is big! On one hand we have the Xanadont’s playing Fort Wayne’s S.W.A.T. Team, and on the other we have the Bomb Squad vs. BRRG All-Stars. This is huge we must come prepared! I’m sure 9/13/08 is still is as fresh in everyone’s mind as is it is mine. The BRRG All-Stars defeated the Bomb Squad 78 to 70 and what a victory it was! We struggled the whole match being behind on points most of the match, all of our Jammers had to fight tooth and nail to stay close on points. With seconds left on the clock, Stroker Ace came flying like a bat out of hell to put the game into sudden death overtime!

I do not want this close, nail biting, edge of my seat game, this time! This time I would love for us to just destroy Fort Wayne! I am so freaking excited for this bout, both the All-Stars and the xanadont’s will be there. Of course, as always, Turn Two Boys will be the as the heckle masters we are! Good Luck and we will see you there!

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